The Flop House

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 6:13 - So much talk about weddings that you'd think you were listening to three schoolgirls, if not for the World of Warcraft reference.6:14 - 42:05 - A scintillating discussion of Old Dogs, the family film that's fun for no ages, as well as our longest, most absurd digression yet.42:06 - 43:03- Final judgments are handily dispensed with.43:04 - 48:17 - Dan manages to announce our CONTEST WINNER, despite Elliott and Stu's best efforts to not let him get the name out.48:18 - 55:45 - The sad bastards recommend. 55:46 - 58:24 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 27:35 - Jude Law and Forrest Whittaker repossess both our will to live and to discuss the movie Repo Men.27:36 - 33:19 - Final judgments, and Elliott rambling Lethal Weapon 2 digression.33:20 - 49:04 - A brimming Flop House Movie Mailbag.49:05 - 58:50 - Instead of recommendations, Elliott gives us a firsthand report on San Diego's ComiCon.58:51 - 59:41 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:16 - Introduction and theme 0:17 - 34:17 - Luc Besson is usually good for some dumb thrills.  Take away the thrills, and you have From Paris With Love. 34:18 - 36:55 - Final judgments 36:56 - 41:30 - Friendly's with benefits. 41:31 - 45:19 - NEW CONTEST ALERT 45:20 - 55:03 - The sad bastards recommend. 55:04- 55:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme0:35 - 40:51 - God has decided to punish us. Not by sending all of the angels from heaven to wipe out humanity - by making us watch Legion.  (And punish Dan in particular by making Stu and Elliott interrupt him more than ever before.)40:52 - 42:14 - Final judgments42:15 - 57:47 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag threatens to take over the show.57:48 - 59:21 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme0:33 - 34:34 - Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, when we take you out in our discussion of Surrogates.34:35 - 37:20 - Final judgments38:21 - 45:55 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag.45:56 - 51:40- The sad bastards recommend.51:41 - 54:25 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme0:35 - 2:30 - We reintroduce special guest host Brock Mahan.2:31 - 36:53 - We put on our critics' high-heeled red leather books to take on the no-rom, no-com, rom-com All About Steve40:56 - 40:55 - Final judgments40:56 - 44:07 - An all-comments Flop House mailbag.48:45 - 55:07- The sad bastards recommend.55:08 - 57:53 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme0:34 - 2:24 - We waste a few minutes talking about how long it's been since we've invaded your ear-holes.2:25 - 35:39 - We discuss Law Abiding Citizen, the most egregious movie title crime against hyphens since The 40 Year Old Virgin.35:39 - 38:18 - Final judgments38:20 - 39:25 - Station identification39:26 - 44:07 - We attempt to re-create a Flop House Movie Mailbag from memory, and we make fun of Stuart's fragile mental state.44:08 - 52:10- The sad bastards recommend.52:11 - 53:01 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme0:35 - 37:36 - Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Which gang? All of the supposedly-full-time Flop House co-hosts!  A podcast with all three floppers together comes along once in a blue moon.  Or in this case, a new moon.  A Twilight: New Moon.  ...Remind me never to hire myself as a copywriter.  37:37 - 39:33 - Final judgments39:34 - 43:31 - The long-awaited WINNERS of the "Give Dan a Hook" contest!43:32 - 51:19 - The sad bastards recommend.51:20 - 52:13 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introduction and theme0:37 - 8:10 - Before getting down to business we discuss Stuart's vacation, Dan's nasal surgery, and the acting career of guest host Eric Zuckerman.8:11 - 39:48 - We talk about Sorority Row, the remake of House on Sorority Row, which, of course, was a remake of Erich Von Stroheim's Greed, based on the novel Push, by Sapphire.39:49 - 44:17 - Final judgments44:18 - 52:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag52:01 - 59:14 - The sad bastards recommend.59:15 - 59:53 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:31 - 5:00 - We reintroduce guest co-host Amanda Melson, and spend nearly five full minutes reminiscing about the New York comedy scene in a way that's almost completely alienating to outsiders. 5:01 - 39:12 - You know your movie's in trouble when even an ice ax-wielding killer and Kate Beckinsale in her underwear can't generate any excitement39:13 - 43:10 - Final judgments43:11 - 48:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag48:01 - 53:48 - The sad bastards recommend.53:49 - 54:52 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

TEN BEST PICTURE NOMINEES? HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?!

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme 0:31 - 3:35 - Stuart wastes all of our time by discussing his upcoming 30th birthday. 3:36 - 34:25 - If your criteria for a romantic comedy is that it contains the words "the" and "truth," and has a negative descriptor in the middle, may we suggest The Awful Truth starring Cary Grant? 34:26 - 40:31 - Final judgments 40:32 - 50:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag 50:01 - 51:14 - An explanation of the new Movie Minute policy. 51:15 - 56:31 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:32 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introductions and Theme0:37 - 33:42- We welcome Matt Koff, our second guest host of a still-young 2010, and we introduce him to a rising star named Gerard Butler, in a little film called Gamer.33:43 - 37:57 - Final Judgments37:58 - 48:38- A very navel-gazing movie mailbag.38:39 - 51:47 - Two out of three  bastards recommending aint' bad.51:48 - 52:37 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introductions and Theme0:35 - 3:00 - We welcome Elliott back and, for some reason, Stuart wastes time quizzing him and Dan about current events.3:01 - 37:24 - We discuss Hannah Montana: The Movie, because surely the audience for that picture was white males in their late twenties to early thirties.37:25 - 40:27 - Final Judgments40:28 - 53:49- Our longest letters segment yet, resulting in one of our patented vague Flop House contests.53:50 - 56:49 - A very short sad bastards recommend.56:50 - 58:14 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introductions and Theme0:37 - 3:47 - We introduce our guest co-host, Nigel Wood.3:48 - 29:50 - We discuss 90 minutes of bright colors, loud noises, and disconnected action, in a DVD mislabeled "Dragonball: Evolution."29:51 - 33:23 - Final Judgments33:24 - 34:30 - Station identification34:31 - 41:46 - The sad bastards recommend.45:47 - 45:02 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We answer another letter from a loyal listener.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introductions and Theme0:33 - 1:37 - We introduce our special guest, Flop House contest winner Dash.1:38 - 43:35 - As four comic book nerds, we find far too much to say about X-Men Origins: Wolverine.43:46 - 45:55 - Final Judgments45:56 - 51:55 - The sad bastards recommend.51:56 - 54:19 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Our most self-indulgent movie minute yet!

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme0:35 - 3:40 - We devote a little time to patting ourselves on the back for reaching fifty episodes.3:41 - 28:51 - We celebrate our fiftieth anniversary by discussing Delgo, the movie most likely to inspire blank stares in our audience, followed by "What the fuck's a Delgo?."  Maybe we'll get it together for our 100th.  28:51 - 29:58 - Pause for station identification29:59 - 35:55 - Final judgments 35:56 - 40:40 - Flop House Movie Mailbag, plus discussion of a wacky cross-country adventure.40:41 - 47:40 - The sad bastards recommend.  47:41 - 49:19 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

Who doesn't love trailers and shaggy dog puns?

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme0:38 - 39:10- We dive right in and discuss a movie based on a video game character that was only popular because preteen boys are too scared to talk to real girls - Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.39:11 - 40:10 - Final judgments 40:11 - 41:33 - A CONTEST WINNER ANNOUNCED, for the contest everyone (even the hosts) forgot was happening.41:34 - 47:47 - The sad bastards recommend.  47:48 - 50:17 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.50:18 - 51:17 - Station identification.

0:00 - 0:56 - Introduction, APOLOGY, and theme0:57 - 4:00 - The return of Dan's least favorite reoccurring segment.4:01 - 41:41- Dan, Stu, and Elliott make vicious fun of a movie you've never heard of, giving the lie to their claim that they're too nice to kick a film when it's down.41:42 - 44:53- Final judgments 44:54 - 51:54 - Our second and final SHOCKTOBER sad bastards recommend of 2009.  51:55 - 55:00 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

Our first ever video podcast lets you join us in NYC, at the UCB Theater, for the Flop House's guest appearance on Andy Rocco's Hipster Show.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and SPOOKY theme0:35 - 2:27 - The usual off-topic nonsense up front.2:28 - 30:44- Finally, the pro-abortion, anti-holocaust, Jewish demon horror story you've been waiting for! The Unborn.30:45 - 34:04- Final judgments 34:05 - 39:29 - Movie Mailbag39:30 - 47:11 - A special SHOCKTOBER sad bastards recommend.  47:12 - 48:37 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme0:34 - 4:14- We engage in a hilarious bit about how everyone spent last weekend.4:15 - 28:26- Race-baiting mixed with Fatal Attraction seems like a recipe for trashy film fun.  And yet, count the times that Dan sighs wearily, while discussing Obsessed.28:27 - 30:30- Final judgments 30:31 - 34:30 - Movie Mailbag34:31 - 39:24 - Inspired by the final letter, we segue directly into a special older "bad movie" edition of sad bastards recommend.39:25 - 43:37 - Which, in turn, devolves into a discussion of T&A comedies.43:38 - 46:15 - A plug from Elliott, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

A commercial for our new, more convenient web address.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 3:58- We introduce our guests, lycanthropy activists Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers.3:59 - 35:58 - What are "Skinwalkers?" Are they ancient legendary beasts?  Are they sufferers of a terrible curse? Are they nudists?  Or, perhaps they're just a way to tart up a lousy werewolf movie in Native American garb.35:59 - 41:51- Final judgments 41:52 - 48:21 - The sad bastards recommend.48:22 - 50:09 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

More letters from our loyal listeners.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme0:34 - 33:52 - The original Peaches unearth a time capsule with a warning for all mankind: avoid Knowing.33:53 - 36:27- Final judgments 36:28 - 37:34 - A break for station identification.37:35 - 42:50 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag42:51 - 47:59 - The sad bastards recommend.48:00 - 49:17 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme0:38 - 5:20 - We spend some time discussing Stuart's penis and introduce our guest host, Meghan O'Neill.5:21 - 36:59 - How many lousy movies do two of the greatest actors of their generation have to make, before we give up on them?  Just one, if it's Righteous Kill.37:00 - 38:06- A break for station identification and all things Flop House.38:07 - 42:45 - Final judgments42:46 - 43:52 - We tease letters but cruelly do not read any this episode.43:53 - 51:27 - The sad bastards recommend.51:28 - 53:20 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

The Flop House gets just as lazy in August as anyone else, so while we're on vacation, please enjoy this rerun of our most popular movie minute.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme0:31 - 3:09 - We introduce our guest host, Brock Mahan.3:10 - 30:55 - We watch that mall cop movie. No, not that one. The dumb one.30:56 - 34:00- Final judgments34:01 - 39:42 - The sad bastards recommend.39:43 - 40:50 - Goodbyes, theme and a special message about Stuart's penis.

Lou Fernandez of Loureads.com helps us out by lending his melifluous pipes and his sophisticated producing style to this advertisement.

Dan was out of town this weekend, so he didn't have time to write full show notes for this episode, but he did have time to post it, and HERE IT IS!

Thanks to recording in advance, we're a little late to the party discussing the Oscar Best Picture change.

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme0:36 - 39:20 - We apparently have more to say about Friday the 13th than any movie we've watched previously.39:21 - 43:40- The most shocking final judgments yet.43:41 - 51:24 - Listener mail51:25 - 56:06 - In lieu of film recommendation, a slew of plugs: a zine, Elliott's film series, and Dan's sketch group.56:07 - 56:42 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 2:22 - We introduce our guest host: stand-up comedian and comedy writer Amanda Melson.2:23 - 31:20 - In Bride Wars, there are no winners.  Only bloodstained white tulle.31:21 - 34:23- Final judgments34:24 - 39:02 - Listener mail, and a revelation about Dan's slumlord background.39:03 - 45:40 - The sad bastards recommend45:41 - 47:24 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

Paul Masson's got nothing on us.

0:00 - 0:41 - Introduction and theme0:42 -  31:36 - We discuss Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the movie that made talking Chihuahuas a national sensation. Wait... I'm thinking of Taco Bell.31:36 - 38:38 - Final judgments38:39 - 46:00 - After some hilarity about the Civil War, we read a letter from a listener.46:01 - 53:19 - The sad bastards recommend53:20 - 55:35 - Dan reveals a shameful talent for remembering celebrity nude scenes, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

Elliott lists some terrible remake ideas, while Stu contributes a remake he'd like to see.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:34 -  27:04 - Will Smith.  Rosario Dawson.  A Jellyfish.  The formula for a blockbuster smash?  We discuss Seven Pounds.27:05 - 29:50 - Final judgments29:51 - 34:38 - The sad bastards recommend34:39 - 40:04 - Some last minute bitching and moaning about Seven Pounds, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

America swaps bodies with its younger self, to go back to a time when body-swap movies were popular.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme0:34 -  31:12 - After a brief trip south of the border, we talk about The Spirit. The movie that manages to make superheroes dull and cleavage unsexy.31:13 - 33:24 - Final judgments33:25 - 42:27 - The sad bastards recommend42:28 - 46:09 - A little talk about ghosts and Jedi molestation, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme.0:36 - 29:03 - We are way, way too soft on Fireproof, in order to avoid ticking off our vast, yet nonexistent, audience of evangelical listeners.29:04 - 35:26 - Final judgments. 35:27 - 44:39 - A letter from a listener illuminates important Flop House guidelines.44:40 - 55:09 - The sad bastards recommend.55:10 - 57:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Even more trailers for upcoming films.

0:00 - 0:38 - Introduction and theme.0:39 - 30:46 - Is Mirrors scarier or less scary than any other horror film starring an inanimate object?30:47 - 33:46 - Final judgments.  33:47 - 43:35 - Letters from listeners and a window into Dan's low self esteem.43:36 - 49:25 - The sad bastards recommend.49:26 - 50:11 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Since people seem to enjoy the outtakes, here's an extended peek behind the Flop House curtain, with even more talk of Demon Knight and other topics.

No time for show notes this week, but enjoy the episode.

Turns out it's Whoopi Goldberg.

Apologies for the sound quality of this show.  We had sound issues we weren't aware of until well after the taping.0:00 - 0:26 - Theme0:27 - 45:34 - We discuss the Oscars. Oh surely the skies will be dark tonight as all the stars are in Hollywood's Kodak Theater!45:35 - 55:35 - Letters from listeners.55:36 - 56:39 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Clean up in your Oscar pool the scientific way!

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 3:41 - We introduce guest host extraordinaire Will Hines.3:42 - 33:37 - What happens when the American election comes down to JUST ONE VOTE?  Wait.  You say that would never happen?  Shit.  Then what are we gonna do about this Swing Vote movie?  I guess we should just make fun of it.33:38 - 38:23 - Final judgments.  Plus: the weirdest joke ever to appear on The Flop House.38:24 - 51:09 - Letters from listeners.51:10 - 58:26 - The sad bastards recommend.58:27 - 59:17 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Dan was on vacation this week, and he owns all the recording equipment.  So, until next week's new episode, please enjoy this re-run.

We make up for our lost movie minute with our longest supplemental episode yet, about how the Oscars are always wrong.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 22:00 - Watch out for Nicholas Cage. That motherfucker is BANGKOK Dangerous.22:01 - 34:35 - We get bored of talking about Bangkok Dangerous, and quickly digress into talk of AVP2, pornography, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Zombie Strippers, Return of the Jedi, and Hitman (with a little more Bangkok Dangerous thrown in as anti-spice)34:36 - 39:28 - Final judgments39:30 - 46:59 - Letters from listeners.47:00 - 52:35- The sad bastards recommend.52:36 - 53:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 2:00 - We reintroduce ourselves, after our long winter's nap.2:01 - 33:51- In the long tradition of dance films, this is certainly one of them.33:52 - 36:40 - Final judgments36:41 - 43:25 - Letters from listeners.43:26 - 54:33 - The sad bastards recommend, New Year's special - our top five films of the year.54:34 - 55:50 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

Christmas specials under the microscope.The music you hear in this episode is Hark the Herald Angels sing, as performed by Doug Hammer on the album Noel, courtesy of feelslikechristmas.com, which provides free Christmas music for personal and nonprofit use.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 5:04 - We spend the first five minutes talking about a movie about toys that WASN'T the one we watched, released more than a decade ago.5:05 - 11:14 - We make a brief feint at discussing Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, but quickly get sidetracked by Willy Wonka and old-time character actors.11:15 - 35:41 - We finally manage to focus on the topic at hand, the horrifying tale of a sentient toy store and its insane inhabitants.  What's that?  It's a kids' film? ...You sure?35:42 - 40:05 - Final judgments.40:06 - 44:10 - Copyright infringement, listener mail, and discussion of nude Lea Thompson.44:11 - 46:34 - The MOST IMPORTANT SEGMENT EVER.46:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend.54:39 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, outtakes, and theme.

More trailers for the biggest winter releases.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:15 - Mustaches are much discussed.2:16 - 32:22 - We talk about the Katherine Heigel rom-com 27 Dresses, and show our affinity for the material by staying on-topic almost never.  Also: boobs.32:23 - 36:30 - Final judgments, in which 27 Dresses manages to SHATTER the Flop House categories.36:31 - 46:17 - The sad bastards recommend.  Plus, we learn another famous person Elliott has had tangential interactions with.  And also: even more boobs.46:18 - 48:46 - November-December is Flop House listener pledge drive season - but you don't have to pay us in cash-- just recruit new listeners.48:47 - 51:30 - We write the great lost sex comedy, "Lustache."51:31 - 52:55 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and a whole heck of a lot more boobs.

We present this alternate, much shorter, version of the Al Pacino film 88 Minutes.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 5:02 - We explain why we're the dynamic duo this week, and talk about how much we miss Stuart.  Also: we engage in the name-droppiest name dropping yet, as Elliott tells the story of the time he met PRESIDENT ELECT BARACK OBAMA.5:03 - 32:52 - We talk about 88 Minutes, the movie that is a worse example of real-time filmmaking than Nick of Time, and a far worse example of post-mortem semen-swapping than Presumed Innocent.32:53 - 37:25 - Final judgments, plus a brief side-track into dream analysis.37:26 - 45:43 - The sad bastards recommend.  45:43 - 46:32 - We talk about Stuart some more.  Jeez!  Why don't us guys get a room, already!46:33 - 49:03 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Stuart's harrowing tale of survival is now a zany comedy starring Seth Rogan.

0:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and theme.0:40 - 41:28 - It's a Flop House event!  We've been waiting so long for the DVD release for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening that we jump right in and don't stop talking about it for forty minutes.  (Would I call it a "Flop House happening?"  No.  That would be dumb.)41:29 - 44:17 - Final judgments on The Happening.44:18 - 48:30 - What the heck.  Final judgments on M. Night, too.48:31 - 56:40 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:41 - 58:26 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the first edition of Name Droppin', Elliott talks about working with Ian McShane.

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 1:54 - The whole team is back together again, so to celebrate they ramble off-topic for a while.1:55 - 37:13 - We talk about Prom Night, a shocking expose about the incompetence of the Bridgeport police department.37:14 - 40:35 - Final judgments.40:36 - 49:27 - We explain why we haven't had the Flop House contest winner on, announce a winner of the Ewe Boll contest, and Dan shamelessly plugs his own project.49:28 - 52:54 - The sad bastards recommend. 52:55 - 54:30 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and many, many sound effects

We give you directions on how to make your own Flop House at home.

What do you get when Stuart is out of town on vacation, Elliott is busy transitioning from one high-stress television comedy job to another high-stress television comedy job, and Dan is having Internet problems?  A rerun!  Hey, at least we don't do it as much as LOST.  (Well, as much as they used to... before their uninterrupted seasons... lets pretend that joke was still relevant and move on). In this, one of our favorite episodes, we discussed Bratz-- a movie that was so unexpectedly delightful in its badness that it became the gold standard for Flop House film ratings.  Enjoy.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:45 - We welcome back Elliott Kalan, make fun of Stuart, and reintroduce Ritch Duncan.2:46 - 40:22 - We make up for our spottily-released late summer shows by making this our second-longest episode ever and spending far too much time discussing Wild Hogs-- possibly more than the screenwriter took to write it.40:23 - 44:30 - Final judgments.44:31 - 49:10 - We congratulate Elliott on some huge news, and spend a little time discussing the Ewe Boll contest (with a brief R.I.P. for Dan's local video rental place).49:11 - 55:56 - The sad bastards recommend.55:57 - 57:28 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We honor the modern-day Ed Wood with a contest.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:30 - We introduce our guest co-host, leggy comedienne Sara Schaefer.2:31 - 35:29 - We each give our vantage points on the film Vantage Point.  See what I did there?  I made you want to shoot yourself.35:30 - 38:40 - Final judgments. 38:41 - 43:28 - We announce the WINNER OF THE FLOP HOUSE CONTEST!43:29 - 47:17 - The sad bastards recommend.  (Also, according to our web research, the second movie Sara recommends-- the one where she can't remember the title-- is probably Butcher Wing.)47:18 - 52:11 - Sara plugs some stuff, and Stuart demonstrates his complete misunderstanding of the concept of plugs.52:12 - 53:29 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We talk with the listeners, walk with the listeners.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 1:57 - We take a moment to discuss Stuart's choice of attire.1:58 - 38:02 - We discuss the film One Missed Call, the movie that asks the question, "Can anything be all bad, if it involves Ray Wise?"38:03 - 41:09 - Final judgments.41:10 - 49:21- The sad bastards recommend. 49:22 - 51:45 - More on the Flop House contest, and goodbyes.51:46 - 52:30 - Theme and outtakes.

The movie minute is taking a summer vacation this week, but we don't want to leave you empty-handed, so enjoy this audio sketch.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:47 - We have our usual difficulty getting down to business.2:48 - 30:30 - Would 10,000 B.C. have been better if it had starred Ringo Starr and Shelly Long?  Yes.  Yes it would.30:31 - 34:13 - Final judgments.34:14 - 36:45 - A brief digression about the films of Brendan Fraser.36:46 - 46:13 - The sad bastards recommend. 46:14 - 52:57 - A greater explication of the Flop House contest, surveys, podcasty business, and goodbyes.52:58 - 53:39 - Theme and outtakes.

Warm nostalgia swaddles the show, as the gang discusses Teen Wolf.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 30:20 - After welcoming back oft-absent co-host Elliott Kalan and dispensing with some off-topic comics talk, we celebrate Independence Day by examining the slow decline of former America's sweetheart Sandra Bullock in Premonition.30:21 - 32:05 A slight detour, as the Flop House hosts make out their audio living wills.32:06 - 36:09 - Final judgments.36:10 - 40:19 - We rewrite the ending to Premonition.  Also: a lot of nonsense about C.H.U.D.s.40:20 - 48:40 - The sad bastards recommend.48:41 - 51:12 - Podcasty business, a NEW CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT, and goodbyes.51:13 - 51:54 - Theme and outtakes.

We briefly discuss a barbarian-sized hit. Also: fully clothed breasts!

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 1:21 - We introduce special guest host, Matt Koff.1:22 - 29:19 - Jump! For my love! Jump in! ...Is a song we'd rather be listening to, than watching the film Jumper, starring Teen Anakin. Skywalker.  29:20 - 33:50 - Final judgments. 33:51 - 39:11 - A little Unbreakable feedback, and Dan hijacks the podcast for his own petty, personal purposes.39:12 - 46:25 - The sad bastards recommend.46:26 - 49:18 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Trailers for some of this summer's biggest films.

We present an extended cut from a horror movie classic.

In the battle between Alien and Predator, there can be only one winner, and you can bet it's not the viewing public.  Meanwhile, Stuart reveals a shocking secret about vaginas, Dan does a sub-par 70's TV impression, and Lou keeps urging people to draw things.0:00 - 0:29 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 2:35 - We speculate about regular host Elliott Kalan's absence, and learn a little about guest host Lou Fernandez.2:36 - 32:05 - Alien vs. Predator, possibly the coolest concept in the world, provided you're an acne-riddled 12-year-old.32:06 - 35:25 - Final judgments.35:26 - 42:14 - The sad bastards recommend.42:15 - 45:07 - We draw your attention to Elliott's recent television triumph and plug our website a little.45:08 - 48:09 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

The Flop House makes a foray into near-journalism and visits the NY ComiCon.

We answer the question, "How bad could a movie with dragon wars possibly be?"  Meanwhile, Dan pitches a new Bikini-themed movie, Elliott has a flashback to the war, Stu makes a love connection, and we all take a big swig of the Hong Kong cocktail.0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 26:07 - After a brief and transparent bid for sympathy on Dan's part, we get down to business and discuss D-Wars: Dragon Wars, the film that can't make up its mind whether to abbreviate itself.26:08 - 27:37 - Final judgments.27:38 - 28:49 - We announce a shameless ploy to increase listenership.28:50 - 32:29 - A long-absent segment makes its triumphant return.32:30 - 38:20 - The sad bastards recommend.38:21 - 42:08 - Some podcast business is taken care of, amidst copious gibberish.42:09 - 43:21 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.I apologize that the audio quality is slightly lower than the previous few episodes.  My allergy-addled mind didn't take enough time checking the levels, so I sound slightly louder and cracklier than Stu or Elliott, despite doing my best to fix it in post.

A heartwarming story about spiders disintegrates into despair and recrimination.  Enjoy!

We devote this Flop House Movie Minute to the ultimate in nostalgia sequels.

In our least-edited show yet we discover that big stars, glossy production values, and a classic story can't save you from being snatch'd by the Flop House, as we discuss The Invasion.  Meanwhile, Elliott tries to sell us on his medical humor, Stuart imagines the sassy sentient skateboard of his dreams, and Dan auditions for several other podcasts.0:00 - 0:35 Introduction and theme0:36 - 2:46 A podcast warning is issued, and a dead-on George Takai impression is met with thundering indifference.2:46 - 40:54 We talk about The Invasion, the latest and least-greatest take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  At least Nicole Kidman wears a tight sweater.40:55 - 42:38 Final judgments.42:39 - 55:09 The sad bastards recommend.55:10 - 56:05 Some nonsense about Karate Kid to close the show.56:07 - 58:56 Thanks, podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the second of our short, supplemental episodes, noted raconteur Stuart Wellington describes his encounter with noted werewolf-hunter Kate Beckinsale.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 3:21 - We waste a fair amount of time talking about our new microphones.3:22 - 28:50 - Jessica Alba AND Hayden Christensen?  Is there any way the movie Awake CAN'T be good?28:51 - 37:20 Final judgements37:21 - 38:57 A brief intermission for a story about Dan in his pajamas.38:58 - 51:44 The sad bastards recommend51:45 - 56:26 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We're going to start producing short, supplemental episodes to put out in weeks without a full-length Flop House, so that listeners don't have to wait quite so long for new content.  In this first episode, Dan addresses some of the material lost (thanks to technical difficulties) from the Awards Floptacular episode. We hope you like the new Movie Minute supplements.  Thanks for listening.

Special guest Elliott Kalan returns to discuss what has been called "The Academy Awards of movies," the Oscars. Meanwhile, Stuart hands out tips about the Internet, Dan learns what it means to be a really unlikely stripper, and Elliott fears running afoul of Wayne Enterprises. 0:00 - 0:33 Introduction and theme. 0:34 - 31:49 Welcoming special guest host, Elliott Kalan (segment producer, The Daily Show; humor columnist, Metro), and discussion of the 80th annual Academy Awards. 31:50 - 39:30 Elliott discusses his own experiences helping to produce the 2006 Oscars telecast, and Dan tries to jump in with his own shameless name-dropping. 39:31 - 43:15 We discuss the Razzies, which, coincidentally, was dominated by the film we watched the last time Elliott guest hosted. 43:16 - 45:51 We get bored talking about the Razzies and drift back to the Oscars. 45:52 - 46:39 Dan's cursed laptop provides the show with a shocking twist ending. Also, podcasty business is briefly addressed. 46:40 - 47:26 End theme and outtakes. NOTE: I incorrectly identified our email address as "theflophouse" at gmail.com. It is, of course, "theflophousepodcast" (of course because, in 2008, every other damn email address had been taken).

Comedian Ritch Duncan joins us, to talk about Good Luck Chuck, starring "comedian" Dane Cook, in a poignant film about love lost, found, and crotch-biting penguins. Meanwhile Dan makes a plea for exploitation filmmakers to stick to their guns, Ritch explains when to allow a bird to ingest its own feces, and Stuart encourages our audience in an act of vandalism against video stores across the nation. 0:00 - 0:32 Introduction and theme. 0:32 - 1:35 Welcoming special guest host Ritch Duncan, stand-up comic, and former editor-in-chief for Jest Magazine, and former writer for PRI's Fair Game and Comedy Central's Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn. 1:36 - 41:00 We upchuck Good Luck Chuck - a movie which, by the way, is about as unfunny and unpleasant as the first part of this sentence. 41:01 - 45:35 For the very first time, a movie manages to break the Final Judgement segment of The Flop House. 45:36 - 54:02 The sad bastards recommend. 54:03 - 55:12 Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes. Two notes, one good, one bad: The GOOD: I've discovered how to compress these files further, so that, going forward, the shows will not be monster 80 MB downloads. Sorry about the size of previous episodes. You'll note that this one, despite being nearly an hour, is a svelte 25 MB. The BAD: This episode has an (extremely, extremely quiet, but still noticeable) constant stream of background chatter. I do not know why. Most likely, the headphones for my TV were switched on, and near the mic, while recording, so that we could not hear this ambient noise during the session, but it got picked up on the podcast. Sorry about that -- it won't happen again. In the meanwhile, why don't you pretend that you're listening to this episode on old-fashioned terrestrial radio, and what you're hearing is the next channel in the AM dial bleeding into this one. It'll make you feel like you're on a long road trip with your parents... except that your folks are inexplicably listening to three foul-mouthed guys kicking a movie while it's down. Enjoy!

In this episode, Colbert Report staff writer Frank Lesser joins us, to see what happens next, in Next (hint: it has something to do with Nicholas Cage's hair). Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his vulnerability to bullets, Dan describes his super-power, and Frank pitches a romantic comedy built on Next's charred remains. 0:00 – 0:35 Introduction and theme. 0:36 – 7:42 Our guest host Frank Lesser is introduced, and we indulge in some off-topic discussion of M. Night Shyamalan, and of Heath Ledger's untimely demise. 7:43 – 33:33 What happens if they make a movie with Nic Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel and no-one comes? They name it Next. 33:34 – 38:35 Final judgments. 38:36 - 42:30 The sad bastards recommend. 42:31 - 56:50 A once-proud podcast devolves into a conversation about recent movies, including Juno, I Am Legend, and The Mist. 56:51 – 57:49 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.

In our first episode sans Simon, we welcome friend-of-the-show Jeanette Laird to the guest host seat, to discuss the Kevin Costner split-personality serial killer film Mr. Brooks.  Meanwhile, Stuart makes a movie pitch, Dan reveals an embarrassing secret about Charlie’s Angels, and Jeanette teaches us how to kill a man.0:00 – 0:36 Introduction and theme.0:37 – 2:50 Partial synopsis of Mr. Brooks, courtesy of Wikipedia.2:51 – 28:02 Something’s happening here and you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Brooks?28:03 – 31:16 Final judgments.31:17 – 36:55 The sad bastards recommend.36:56 – Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.*A small apology for the audio quality of some of this episode.  I have no idea why my voice sounds so booming at times, while Stuart and Jeanette sound like they are in the next room, other than the obvious explanation that I am 40 feet tall.

In this episode, the gang chats about Perfect Stranger, the top Internet chat-based thriller that was released twenty years after Internet chatting was invented. Meanwhile, Stuart engages in some creative screenplay retitling, Dan proposes a twist ending advisory board, and Simon drops a personal bombshell. 0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme. 0:34 - 1:54 - Partial synopsis of Perfect Stranger, courtesy of Wikipedia. 1:55 - 28:27 - According to the Simpsons musical Streetcar! "...a stranger's just a friend you haven't met!" But that was before the movie Perfect Stranger. 28:28 - 29:52 - Final judgments. 29:53 - 36:18 - Our first listener mail! 36:19 - 40:01 - The sad bastards recommend. 40:02 - 44:00 - Simon reveals some sad news. 44:01 - 46:25 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the second of our special Halloween episodes, the gang gets caught in the deathtrap that is Saw III. Meanwhile, Simon spins an elaborate handstand analogy, Stuart gets turned on by Icyface, and Dan offers Jigsaw's girlfriend a little relationship advice.0:00 - 0:40 - Introduction and the special "Halloween Remix" Flop House Theme0:40 - 2:31 - Partial synopsis of Saw III, courtesy of Wikipedia2:32 - 29:49 - Does unremitting torture and pain appeal to you?  Then, why not watch Saw III, so you can go through a little of it?  ZING!  You got zinged, Saw III!29:50 - 32:53 - Final judgements.32:54 - 36:57 - The sad bastards recommend.36:58 - 39:00 - THE SHOCKING DENOUMENT!39:01 - 43:00 - Podcasty business, next show teaser, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode, the team examines the sure-misfire team-up of Jim Carrey and Joel Schumacher. The Number 23.  Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, Simon rails against twist endings; Stuart discusses digital sex (but not in the way you think); and Dan can't quite get a handle on how to name movie characters.0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and the special Halloween Remix Flop House Theme0:38 - 4:11 - Synopsis of The Number 23, courtesy of Wikipedia4:12 - 34:00 - Wouldn't it be spooky if this segment was TWENTY-THREE MINUTES LONG?  It wouldn't?  Then you've learned the secret of The Number 23.34:01 - 36:40 - Final judgements.36:41 - 40:52 - The sad bastards recommend.40:53 - 44:07 - Next show teaser, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

The Flop House team listens to (and, unfortunately, watches) A Sound of Thunder.  Meanwhile, Simon plans a diamond heist, Stu does a little Edward Burns math, and Dan apologizes for things he didn't do... and the entire gang would rather be watching a film about a crime-fighting dinosaur. 0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme music.0:34 - 2:56 - Synopsis of A Sound of Thunder, courtesy of Wikipedia.2:57 - 32:06 - What is the sound of one thunder clapping?32:07 - 35:51- The sad bastards recommend stuff that doesn't suck.35:52 - 39:49 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.The Flop House Theme courtesy of Keith Burgun.

In the second episode of The Flop House, the team travels deep into unexplored reaches of the Billy Zane catalogue, to unearth the a repressed (or at least barely theatrically released) Memory.  Meanwhile, Simon contemplates suicide, Stuart can't seem to turn off his phone, and Dan coins a new improv troupe name.0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme music.0:34 - 1:40 - Synopsis of Memory courtesy of Wikipedia.1:40 - 28:19 - Oh, Memory, why can't we forget you?28:19 - 32:56 - The sad bastards recommend stuff that doesn't suck.32:56 - 34:30 - Goodbyes, theme music, and outtakes.The Flop House Theme courtesy of Keith Burgun.

In the inaugural episode of The Flop House, the team examines Rob Cohen's fighter-plane-run-amok film Stealth.  Meanwhile, Simon discusses sex toys, Stuart does some video store filing, and Dan mispronounces "sentient" a lot. Also, the gang recommends a few things that don't suck.  0:00 - 1:10 - Introductions, themes, and such.1:10 - 21:30 - Stealth.  Fun factory, or snore factory?21:30 - 24:30 - Final Judgments24:30 - 29:10 - The sad bastards recommend.29:10 - 30:28 - It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.  Also to the Flop House.