The Absolute Peach

Beasley and Joe join Ben to explore such topics as inappropriately dressed children's TV characters and ice creams for dogs. Plus, Ben and Joe recount what happened when they bumped into one another on a night out in town.

Ben's giddy with excitement at the latest development in Joe's life. Despite everything he's always said about hating technology, Joe has gone and bought himself a smartphone, and Ben just can't wait to interrogate him about it. We also catch up on what our good friend Antoine Dodson has been up to since finding fame as a mad but likeable dumbass.

In this week's show, Joe, Beasley and Ben talk about homebrew and the awkwardness of foreign exchange programmes. Ben recounts his recent trip to Bath and Joe explains how he was thrown out of a club for standing up for his right to be served while topless.

In this show, Joe and Ben are alone in the studio for the first time this series and discuss such topics as Joe’s recent trip to a Norwegian paradise, the origin of Bradford and how best to preserve the appeal of child actors.

Despite taking a slating in his absence last episode, Beasley's back to set the record straight as to what really happened at The Absolute Beach. Bungle joins the show with a story of a recent accident which may have left him with super powers, and we talk about movies, game shows and an incident circling the internet involving a cat and a bin.

Fresh from our second official meetup "The Absolute Beach", Michael and Joe join Ben to recount the day's events, including what happened within seconds of Joe and Beasley meeting each other on the morning of the event. The rest of the show becomes a kaleidoscope of tangents, where we cover everything from salad to Sing Along Songs.

It's the week before The Absolute Beach and the guys are gearing up to meet a bunch of fans down here in Bournemouth. We take your calls including listener-contributed Chav Watch and Squirrel News and Michael has stories from his trip to France. We round things off by checking out the latest loony doing the rounds on the internet.

Ben has a confession to make. He's let himself down, the show down and the fans down. What did he do? Find out in this show! We also discover the happiest camper who ever lived and Beasley comes under fire for his aloof approach to this week's show.

This week, Beasley explains what happened when he tried to have his shopping delivered, and we hear about one of Ben's weirdest dreams yet. We also talk about how Englishmen don't know how to dress for hot weather.

This week, Ben is joined in the studio by Bungle. We talk about nicknames, nursing and Ben goes off on a rant about a recent cinema experience.

Beasley's back from his adventures in Las Vegas and has many a story to tell. We also talk about a very frustrated shopper, hear about a weird encounter with a pregnant woman in brand new Map of Shame and enjoy a classic voicemail movie review.

With Joe absent due to recent overindulgence, TAP stalwarts Michael and Beasley join Ben for a banter-filled hour on such topics as the end of Big Brother and a woman who dreams of being the fattest in the world. Also, Ben's come up with a new "bit of fun", and Beasley's not happy about it.

Joe and Michael join an excited Ben who has been approached by (another) female admirer. We talk about the perils of putting your faith in technology, and see the return of Joe Cuisine and Chav Watch.

Despite the studio computer rising up and threatening to put an end to this week's live show before it had even begun, Ben, Michael and Beasley battled to get things up and running and turned a potential disaster into what ended up a brilliant show with tons of listener interaction, a new Write The Peach and more banter than you can shake a twiglet at.

It's the first time Joe and Beasley have met since their clash after The Absolute Meet, and the air before the show is thick with anticipation. Beasley shows up late to record, and is forced to explain himself. Ben reports on the latest weirdo he's run into in town and we cover the latest teen craze sweeping schools - werewolves.

The opening episode to Series 6 sees the return of everyone's favourite scallywag Joe. Michael also joins us in the studio as we take on such topics as airport food, things you couldn't do without and sweatshop Nanas.

It's our first show in a while and it comes with a special announcement: the impending start of Series 6! We also talk about our recent event The Absolute Meet, where Beasley did something incredible and Joe broke all records for his most annoying behaviour yet.

Michael and Beasley are back in the studio with Ben for another live show with more listener calls than you can shake a stick at. We talk about an awkward toilet moment, a heroic rescue, trial our new segment Beasley Knows Best and rumours continue to spread about Joe.

Ben is joined in the studio by both Michael and Beasley for the first time together as we take you on a rollercoaster ride of banter on such topics as girdles for men, the new series of Britain's Got Freaks, Justin Beaver and a ton of listener calls. We also discuss our upcoming event "The Absolute Meet".

Ben brings you an exciting announcement about the upcoming TAP event: The Absolute Meet!

It's a surprise bonus show! Ben is joined in the studio by a young fellow named Michael to talk about meatheadedness, the TV show Supersize vs Superskinny, and a hilarious 911 call.

In this show, unsurprisingly, we talk about movies. We discuss which are our favourites, which ones we hate and what makes a good film.

In our second Mini Show, Ben and Joe discuss the world of music.

In the first of our 15-minute, one-topic Mini Shows, Joe and Ben discuss the merits and drawbacks of married life.

In our biggest live show so far, Ben and Joe are joined in the studio once again by Beasley. We talk about a man who sings like a woman, gambling habits and irresponsible parenting. We take your calls and there's even some singing in there too. Yep, we know, awkward.

It's the final show of the current series and Joe and Ben bring you an hour of classic Peach. We talk about food, movies, a man who sings about pants and a new type of job that really shouldn't be a job at all.

Despite ongoing technical issues in Ben's house threatening to ruin our plans, we relocated the entire studio at the last minute to bring our fans a live show from Beasley's mansion. We discuss Ben's terrible luck with cars, Joe's latest gripes with technology and the increasing arrogance of the self-proclaimed "Lord" Beasley. Plus, we take your calls and test out our brand new Feedback system.

This show starts out on the subject of baby showers and ends up talking about the tragic impossibility of living in a fantasy world that doesn't exist. There's also Map of Shame and Joe Cuisine, and we try out a brand new studio drink.

Despite the computer hating them and refusing to cooperate, Ben and Joe are undeterred and bring you a show regardless. Topics covered include animal attacks, 3D technology and Joe's advice on how to be "the cool uncle".

Kriss is back in the studio for his second appearance and enthralls us with his witty anecdotes. Ben teases him for his geeky ways, we talk about The Big Freeze, and hear about Ben's latest trip to the barber.

In the first show of 2010, we kick things off with a little pre-show chat about a strange little puppet called Pob. What follows is a rollercoaster ride of Christmas roundups, strange dreams and an innovative new product idea.

In our special Christmas Day show, we talk (argue) about the differences in the way Ben and Joe view Christmas with the family, and Joe's claims of an alleged Christmas present for Ben that may or may not have ever existed. There's even a seasonal quiz, all wrapped up in a medley of Christmas wishes from our amazing fans from all around the planet. Merry Christmas!

In this special guest show, Ben is joined in the studio by Beasley, a quirky young fellow with a penchant for changing his identity. We talk about voyeuristic television, the games chavs play, and embarrassing yourself at an office Christmas party.

It's been a few weeks of firsts for The Absolute Peach. Ben's first trip to New York City, the very first TAP fan meetup, and now this, the recording of the very first TAP Live show from Tuesday night. We hear how Ben got on in the Big Apple, take some fan phonecalls and find out why Joe has taken to dressing up all fancy like. All this and more, so download now, folks!

Ben's been tearing his hair out preparing for his NYC trip, but still we get a show out to the masses! This week, we talk about our fancy new studio equipment, fans listening to TAP in bed and Ben explains how Gummi Bears are made.

Joe hobbles into the studio this week with back pain triggered by putting on a pair of socks. We talk about The Fourth Kind, hear from a product evangelist turned dance icon and cover some odd news from around the world. Plus, it's a special day for The Absolute Peach as voting opens for the Podcast Awards 2009, in which we are nominated in the Comedy category. Vote for us today at www.podcastawards.com. Voting closes November 30th, 2009, 6pm.

Ben must be kind of a big deal. Not only has he been jet-setting the length of the country, but he's even received an advance copy of brand new music by an up and coming artist. Joe meanwhile, almost ran over a dog on his bike.

Ben went and got his eyes tested recently, and it started him thinking. Meanwhile, Joe has been researching "interesting facts", there's listener submitted Chav Watch, and the return of a classic segment from the early days of TAP.

In this week's show we catch up on part of the mountain of listener feedback we've been getting recently. We jump into some news, talk about movies, Ben recounts getting lost in Bournemouth, and even touch on the latest developments in The X Factor.

This week, we talk about a brand new (to us) miracle kitchen device that could revolutionise the world of Joe Cuisine. We hear about Ben's recent mountaineering trip to Wales, talk briefly about movies and even find time for brand new Chav Watch.

This week's varied show features a unique Chav Watch in which Ben is the star. We also talk about induced labour, there's new Squirrel News and your emails.

We're back with a vengeance after a week's break. Joe gets called out on his recent behaviour, and Ben comes clean with a brand new Map of Shame. There's more Joe Cuisine and Chav Watch, and we even find time to talk about movies and read out some of your emails.

On this show, Joe explains why at the ripe old age of 27, he still can’t drive a car. We hear an audio review of the show, discuss the diversity of our listenership, and round it all off with what might be the best (or worst) Joe Cuisine idea so far.

This show is packed to bursting with classic TAP moments. A caffeine-charged Ben defends the manliness of taking his wife to a musical, and comes under fire for his recent "dinner party" habits. Meanwhile, it's a bumper week for Chav Watch, and we are even treated to another helping of Bee News.

Three shows in and the Peach is firing on all cylinders! This show has personal stories, news, arguments and everything else you love about TAP. Joe shares a story of a late-night rendezvous and we learn about the magic of honey making.

Ben's been to a waterpark and has come back with an injury and a new catchphrase for the show. Meanwhile Lord Joe has discovered the joys of tea drinking, we hear an audio message from a fan and read out a bunch of your emails.

Ben and Joe reenter the studio for the hotly anticipated fifth series of The Absolute Peach. We kick things off with a show that's packed with personal stories and your emails so plug in, sit back and enjoy.

The subject of this, the final Mini Show before the start of Series 5, has been tackled plenty of times on The Absolute Peach. But never have we had the privilege of having an actual female on the show. This week, that all changes. Joining us in the studio for this very special Mini Show is none other than Ben's wife! New listeners: this is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

In this show we talk about the issue of health, and why it's important to watch what you eat and exercise regularly. Wow, that makes it sound boring! New listeners: this is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

In this show we take a trip back in time to our childhood, and Ben recounts an embarrassing experience from his school days. New listeners: this is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

It's a food themed show with a unique TAP spin. We kick off the show by delving into a big box of goodies sent in by a fan from overseas, and end up talking about mexican baby food. New listeners: this is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

In our second mini show, we're talking about a topic of some debate amongst the TAP team: technology. It's 15 minutes of classic Joe versus Ben! New listeners: this is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

In this, the first of six 15 minute shows to be released before the start of Series 5, Ben and Joe talk about travel. At least, Joe does. Ben's brain appears to have gone into meltdown and isn't making much sense. In that respect it's sort of a role reversal. Hiyo! New listeners: this episode is different from our normal shows. We recommend checking out Series 4 for an authentic taste of the Peach!

For our last show in the series, we put the focus primarily on you, the fans. A lot of this episode is about hearing and responding to the great feedback we've received from listeners about this series, both long-term and brand new. Of course, it wouldn't be a proper finale without our original brand of TAP stories, rants and arguments, and we even bring back some classic segments from shows gone by. Enjoy this feature-length finale and get ready for what's coming to you - Series 5!

A feature length, surprise roundup show where we bring you all the details of 'The Absolute Trek' bike trip, plus your emails and voicemails.

Ben and Joe have been fishing. How do you think that worked out? Well, in this show we let you know. We also hear about a man who literally ran into trouble, and talk about our upcoming cycling trip.

Happy Friday! This week we delve a little further into Ben's dark past as he recounts his teenage years in internet chatrooms, and the mechanics of chat-based comedy. Luckily it's not all geek, since a listener email forces him to make some tricky decisions. There's also Chav Watch, and a warning about the dangers of listening to the show whilst exercising.

Ben's discovered he has a problem, and this week he shares it with you. We also talk about the games we played as kids, and critique what might be the strangest furniture store advert ever.

This show we get a little more personal and talk about our characters, and how we're percieved by our listeners. There's also Chav Watch, arguments about the wireless, and we hear about a man with birds in his trousers.

We're back for our second show of the week! We hear about a woman who feeds her babies McDonald's, respond to some emails, and talk about some of the awesome fan art we've been sent recently. There's even a delicious new recipe from Joe Cuisine. And somewhere in there is some talk about clowns, and also some about Cretmeisters. Confused? Fire up the show!

Last week we took a week off, because Joe was skulking around theme parks with scant regard for the show. That's right, scant. But now we're back with this surprise Wednesday show to make your midweek special.

The reason for our out-of-sorts show intro is that Joe had taken it upon himself to get involved in the production of the show. It won't happen again. An actor, a flasher and a candlestick maker are just some of the treats we have lined up for you this week. OK, that last one was made up. Enjoy the show.

In this varied show, we hear about Joe's recent street fighting experience, talk about movies and criminals, and end up struggling to comprehend the latest snivelling apology from the BBC.

Ben's ill, and isn't quite himself. Despite this, we still bring you a show. This week, we talk about Joe's brain, hamburgers, and The Apprentice.

Just from the title, you know this show is going to be good. Joe has possibly the most ludicrous squirrel news ever, we hear about a would-be shelf stacker action hero, and Ben reports on the results of last week's "normality challenge".

Crackly Pop Rocks are fun to eat on the mic, but we balance things out with some serious talk on pigs, and why our very own Jamie Oliver is coming under fire for not telling the world to become vegetarian. Also, Joe shares his dreams of farming, and how he has reinvented himself as 'Orlando Jo'.

Sometimes you just have to sit down and talk it out. This show is all about getting some serious Ben and Joe time. Ok, it's also a bit about squirrels, but mainly it's about close friendships between two men, and if it can get "too close for comfort", as Ben sometimes says. You will love this show.

It's always awkward when you're given a gift that's awesome, and you reciprocate with, well, crap. At least not everyone in the world knows about it. Oh wait. Speaking of crap, Ben reports back on a less than satisfactory dinner experience, and Joe shares a sob story from his visit to capital city.

This week we hear the latest in our romance scam saga, find out how to win ourselves a toddler, and there's brand new Joe Cuisine. Plus, Joe shares his history with Thai Brides.

Happy Pancake Friday! This week Ben and Joe argue about drink choices, forbidden words, and an email to Ben reveals that Joe's not the only one the ladies love.

Never mind Slumdog Millionnaire; Ben's got his own rags to riches story. There's also brand new Joe Cuisine and Chav Watch, and we even find time to start a brand new trend. 'Zorz.

Catch the pigeon? Not likely. These pigeons are in jumbo jets! Plus, Joe's met a tramp who's better off than he is, and we revive a favourite segment from days gone by.

Four months after Series 3 drew to a close, TAP is finally back in the saddle with a kick-off show that's more fun than a pool party with rabid monkeys where you're the towel boy. Enjoy! Oh, and you can now follow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/absolutepeach

The fourth, and final instalment of The Absolute Peach highlight shows has finally arrived, and brings with it a special announcement...

Ben hosts another collection of the best clips from Series 3. This week: episodes 11 to 15.

The second episode in our magical adventures through Series 3 of The Absolute Peach. Not so much magical as 'nostalgical'. And probably more tours than adventures. Yeah, let's go with that. This week: episodes 6 to 10.

Ben hosts this 4-part mini-series, bringing you some of the best bits from Series 3. This week: episodes 1 to 5.

Some folk think all that's needed in order to be successful is a talking animal. Perhaps that's what we're missing on The Absolute Peach. Should we dress up a mangy dog in kingly robes and a crown? Is that what the world wants? Let's ask Beatrix Potter. That doesn't make much sense at all, but this is the end of the series, and if it was boring and sensible you'd never forgive us. Thanks for being awesome. We'll see you soon.

This week we discover Joe's dark history of 90s music and roller skating, talk about the latest Disney movie, and reveal Ben's shameful eating habits of late. Plus: should a man say the word 'jammies'? Find out right here, folks.

This show kicks off with drama as Ben makes a shocking discovery about a meal he ate last week. Joe tells of how he's been dreaming about how great he is, and we review some of the worst TV adverts of recent times. Hey, hey, I wanna be a rock star.

We do a lot of things here on The Absolute Peach. But there's one subject which has always been close to our hearts. This show, we present to you some of the most idiotic people ever to grace the TAP airwaves. To add to the fun, some guy has been parking outside Ben's garage and he's not happy about it.

This week, we talk about words that men just shouldn't say. Along the way, Ben gets grilled about his past gaming life, we learn what our names say about us, and Joe has a list of meats. Don't ask.

The new Batman movie's out. Have you seen it? Yeah, it's been out ages. The Joker is amazing. Yeah, I know. But he is though. Yeah. Cool movie. Yep. Chubby chicks in bikinis. What?

Ooh, I don't like where this is going! I'm mildly scared that this is the end! The Peach has crossed a line! Has it? Or did we just decide to do a short show last week? A word to the Worrying Winnies: Stop it. TAP isn't going anywhere. So smile, dear listeners, and enjoy this feature-length show.

Have you ever heard the saying, "It's not quantity but quality that counts"? Well, this week's episode of The Peach has neither quantity nor quality. Ok, that's not 100% true. Let's just say it does exactly what it says on the tin. And by tin we mean title.

Ever noticed how racism is just like a bad movie? No, neither have we. The main topics covered in this week's show could hardly be more different. Yet TAP weaves them into one show so expertly, you'll barely notice the seams. Plus: you love intro songs, and this week we've got not one, but two just for you. We're awesome.

We're back from an unannounced week off and Joe gets the blame. We pay tribute to our American cousins and Ben tells of his most stressful and hideously awkward moments of recent times.

As shows go, this one's awesome. And by awesome we mean awful. And by that we mean it's fairly average. You decide. And it's late. Maybe TAP got lazy? Lazy, lazy TAP. Enjoy the show.

Have you ever seen a man who was so white and thin that you thought he was a ghost of some sort? Ben has...but it wasn't a ghost, it was an emo buying his lunch. Our thoughts on this strange man and some geeks too. Brilliant.

Sometimes you just have to be a man. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride, look somebody right in the eye, and say 'I'm sorry'. Ben's a real man, and this show he proves it. Joe meanwhile, is more interested in the rate at which his fruit decomposes.

Ben and Joe have been ill all week and are still feeling rough. Luckily, a surprise arrives to cheer them up. We also talk about daytime TV, words that don't get used anymore, and it's a bumper week for Chav Watch and Map of Shame.

What's the first rule of Intro Club? What's up with pilots these days? And why are all Joe's stories about Bulls recently? We also discuss the wonderful diversity of accents used in our fine country, and Ben tells of how he was accosted by a 12-year-old.

Do you feel the power of the Gladiators? No? Neither do we. Gladiators these days are too soft, with their lycra and padded pugils. We discuss an idea for a new twist on the Gladiators formula, and also get into some cheese talk. Between Gladiators and cheese, this show has something for everyone.

There's nothing quite like blind optimism, and there's plenty in this week's show. We cover the latest poor fools whose bad ideas landed them in international humiliation. Plus, no episode would be complete without Joe trying something and Ben sabotaging it.

This show we talk about Mexico's dubious legal practices, shooting each other, and how you can get prosecuted for staring. There's also your emails and a story about an arrogant pilot.

We've all met them. Those people who just want to sniff around the tables of others, hoping that some scraps will fall onto their heads, metaphorically speaking. As it turns out, Joe used to know someone who did literally that, literally speaking. Plus we talk about an exciting new form of surgery.

We're back! Series 3 promises to be the biggest series yet for The Absolute Peach and we're kicking things off with a cracker, I mean pie, err, croissant... just listen to the show. Enjoy!