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Short Cummings AudioWeekly humorous essays about life in suburban America.
Recent Episodes for Short Cummings Audio
#179 — Where the Wild Things Work
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast Who doesn’t love a trip to the zoo? Well, probably the animals for whom it is a one-way trip, but that’s not really the point. The point is that you get to spend a happy, lazy day eating junk food and wandering past neat rows of tiny cages containing permanently trapped animals. As you [...]
#178 — Not Right in the Head
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast After an extensive examination, the doctor concluded that my wife wasn’t right in the head. Aside: my wife is glaring at me with a look that could blister the paint on a battleship. In the interest of avoiding incineration, let me provide a some context. The doctor in question is my wife’s oh-toe-lair-in …. auto-lauren [...]
#177 — Things That Go “POOF!”
In this age of heightened security, I’ve heard that the authorities might be monitoring the telephone conversations of ordinary citizens like me. If they are listening in on my cell calls to my wife, I have two words for them. Good. Luck. Really. Our conversations are non-linear in the same way that tires are non-square, fish are [...]
#176 — Feeling My Age
My lawnmower is gone. He moved away to college. With his departure, my wife and I took off the business casual clothing of active parents and slid into the comfortable shorts and Hawaiian shirts of empty-nesters. And you know what? It’s weird. Really. In the evenings, we no longer have to make sure that everyone has finished [...]
#175 — Editorially Speaking
American daily newspapers are dying in record numbers. Where once these magnificent beasts roamed the plains in great herds, now they have been hunted nearly to extinction by the railroads. Oh. Wait. That’s the buffalo. Nonetheless, newspapers really are dying. If your local daily was a guest character on a medical drama, the hunky doctor would [...]
#174 — It’s Down to the Wire!
The history of modern professional sports is a real Cinderella story; a genuine David-and-Goliath fight between the teams on the one hand and an apathetic public on the other foot. Every team out there gives one-hundred-and-ten-percent every time the sun shines just to prove that they’re the team to beat … and watch. And nothing [...]
#173 — Legally Speaking
The Great American Pastime is, of course, taking people to court. No, I’m kidding. The Great American Pastime is baseball; an event in which small teams of highly skilled and carefully trained individuals convene in a specially-designated location to compete by following a complicated set of rules under the watchful eyes of a team of impartial [...]
#172 — Higher Education
After we finished installing our youngest son in his Freshman dorm room, he pushed us out so fast he nearly strained us through the keyhole. He hustled us off the way your immune system rejects a disease, the way a sovereign nation rejects an invading army, the way Jennifer rejected Brad when she found [...]
New Book Available!
Now Available! After 24 years of marriage, a man learns a thing or two about surviving as a homeowner, husband, and father — mostly he learns to laugh at adversity. In this collection of essays, humorist Kevin Cummings takes on all aspects of modern domesticity. “Happily Domesticated” is a collection of 54 of the best essays from the [...]
#171 — Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook
When my dinner arrived at the table it looked less like food and more like evidence in an arson investigation. “I can’t eat this,” I said. “The pork chop is completely burned.” “Not all of it,” my wife said. “Just cut away the burned part and eat what’s left.” “What’s left is the bone.” “Then eat the green beans.” “Burned.” “The [...]
#170 — I’m No Expert
Experts are the bodybuilders of the intellectual world; except its harder to spot them in a crowded room. Body-builders stand out because they are tanned and fit in the exact same way that Mount Everest is not small. Their distressingly unnatural proportions make it tough for them to fit into regular clothes. This is why bodybuilding [...]
#169 — Like a Leaf on the Wind
I’m a big fan of sky-diving…so long as it is undertaken for the express purpose of escaping from a paralyzed airplane which is hurtling ground-ward. On the other hand, leaving a perfectly functional aircraft mid-flight would be disrespectful to the hardworking engineers, technicians and flight crew who are dedicated to providing a safe, comfortable trip. Despite [...]
#168 — Dubious Improvements
Later this year Microsoft will release Windows version seven. After nearly a decade-and-a-half in development, this new software package promises to give you the same smooth, hassle-free experience as Windows 95. As with the release of any new operating system, the arrival of Windows seven is exciting the geek community the way the arrival of [...]
#167 — Now Hiring
Job interviews are the business-world’s equivalent of speed dating. Based on a brief conversation, hiring managers are supposed to select the candidate with whom they expect to have a long-term relationship of forty or fifty … months. The employer is expected to make a binding commitment to this person until death, promotion, mandatory staff reductions [...]
#166 — Meeting of the Bored
Things sure have come a long way since the Dark Ages. A few centuries ago we’d all have been living in a kingdom where any autocrat could summon all of the peasants into the castle for a meeting at a whim. At the same time, if two of the local knights had a disagreement — [...] There are 55 more episodes in this feed. View All Episodes
Recent Comments for Short Cummings Audio
Funny and thoughtful
More podcast should go to the pre-written essay format. This one is consistently good. Submitted By: aaronsentries@... (on 7-2007)
GREAT
Good clean fun listening. Work and family safe. Kudos! Submitted By: anolick@... (on 11-2006) |
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