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E-Content 100 Winner

Keith and The Girl

SHOW STATS
CATEGORY:

 Comedy

COMMENTS:

 6113 Total
 0 September

VOTES:

 43522 Total
 0 September

RANK:

 11 Average
 No rank this month

Keith and his girlfriend talk shit. KeithandTheGirl.com
Recent Episodes for Keith and The Girl
DATE: Wed, 10 Oct 2007
SIZE: 53.2 MB
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595: How to Make It

"Finally a Canadian I hate."

DATE: Tue, 09 Oct 2007
SIZE: 83.6 MB
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594: Everyone Poops

"I shit my pants out of choice."

DATE: Fri, 05 Oct 2007
SIZE: 68.7 MB
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593: Parental Guidance

"We say that to our ladies and horses."

DATE: Thu, 04 Oct 2007
SIZE: 68.6 MB
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592: God Opens a Window

"There's too many cameras. You're fuckin' me. You're dead."

DATE: Wed, 03 Oct 2007
SIZE: 65.7 MB
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591: A Hero's Departure

"You don't even have to kill people to make a difference."

DATE: Wed, 03 Oct 2007
SIZE: 66.0 MB
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590: Emotional Wreck

"You beat your horse gay!"

DATE: Mon, 01 Oct 2007
SIZE: 77.7 MB
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589: A Hero's Return

"I learned it's fun to let other people learn."

DATE: Sat, 29 Sep 2007
SIZE: 54.8 MB
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588: We Win!

"Tonight we settle all family fuckin' debts"

DATE: Thu, 27 Sep 2007
SIZE: 73.5 MB
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587: In Country

"They're gonna analyze the video and find out who farted and fire them."

DATE: Thu, 27 Sep 2007
SIZE: 64.2 MB
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586: License to Drive

"Your son has autism. And only your beautiful tits can save him."

DATE: Wed, 26 Sep 2007
SIZE: 95.6 MB
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585: Nerd Holocaust

"We are no longer friends."

DATE: Mon, 24 Sep 2007
SIZE: 61.0 MB
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584: Backstage

"I'm very logical. I'm scientific. I will break you down. I'm mathematical."

DATE: Sat, 22 Sep 2007
SIZE: 53.6 MB
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583: Shit Talking

"I messed up. I didn't slash the."

DATE: Thu, 20 Sep 2007
SIZE: 95.7 MB
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582: Playing Yourself

"I'd date the shit outta you, Patrice."

DATE: Thu, 20 Sep 2007
SIZE: 69.2 MB
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581: Rock of Love?

"Do you think after Chemda and I break up the show can still work?"

DATE: Tue, 18 Sep 2007
SIZE: 52.0 MB
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580: :-)

"Do we have to be naked?"

DATE: Tue, 18 Sep 2007
SIZE: 87.3 MB
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579: Knowledge is Power

"I gotta say, between your mouth and your hairy bush..."

DATE: Sat, 15 Sep 2007
SIZE: 76.6 MB
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578: The Gun Show

"A handicap ain't got nothin' on me."

DATE: Thu, 13 Sep 2007
SIZE: 96.5 MB
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577: Crybabies

"Who can think of 9/11 at a time like this?"

DATE: Wed, 12 Sep 2007
SIZE: 56.8 MB
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576: Dinner Conversation

"Brother Love, why did you tell her? It was supposed to be a secret."

DATE: Tue, 11 Sep 2007
SIZE: 67.0 MB
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575: The End of the World

"There's no such thing as in a good way with a hippie."

DATE: Mon, 10 Sep 2007
SIZE: 62.7 MB
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574: The Shitbox

"There's radio shows all over the fuckin' dial. Who gives a shit?"

DATE: Sat, 08 Sep 2007
SIZE: 55.8 MB
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573: Imagine

"Is it a hard thing for you guys to bring your own chair? BYOC."

DATE: Fri, 07 Sep 2007
SIZE: 90.6 MB
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572: Keith's New Job

"He made me into his balls."

DATE: Wed, 05 Sep 2007
SIZE: 63.5 MB
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571: Trust Issues

"Every time I said, 'show me titties,' I saw titties."

DATE: Tue, 04 Sep 2007
SIZE: 69.2 MB
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570: The Con

"What came first: the bully or the nerd?"

DATE: Sat, 01 Sep 2007
SIZE: 1.49 MB
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Show 569: Live in Atlanta

www.KATG.com/live

DATE: Thu, 30 Aug 2007
SIZE: 90.3 MB
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568: Monster-in-Law

"Who says that? I think the Devil says that. I think that's the only person that says that."

DATE: Wed, 29 Aug 2007
SIZE: 59.0 MB
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567: Abuse

"Well, personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map."

DATE: Tue, 28 Aug 2007
SIZE: 70.2 MB
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566: God's Will

"And I'll tell you this: It will not be podsafe."

DATE: Mon, 27 Aug 2007
SIZE: 83.6 MB
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565: Challenge!

"Are you a retard, or am I an asshole?"

DATE: Sat, 25 Aug 2007
SIZE: 58.5 MB
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564: Lovers, Fighters

"That's why this and my brother should both be in jail."

DATE: Thu, 23 Aug 2007
SIZE: 94.7 MB
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563: When White is Wrong

"She looks like sucky sucky dollar."

DATE: Wed, 22 Aug 2007
SIZE: 73.1 MB
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562: F-MOS

"Let me feel single in this porta potty."

DATE: Tue, 21 Aug 2007
SIZE: 57.0 MB
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561: Another Friend Lost?

"And then we got naked and put something in me."

DATE: Mon, 20 Aug 2007
SIZE: 75.6 MB
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560: Reverse Snobbery

"'I can't believe you shared this.' Well you shouldn't have done it!"

DATE: Fri, 17 Aug 2007
SIZE: 59.9 MB
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559: Clean and Sober

"On bringing uh... uh... liquid refreshment: no liquor, no wine, no beer in any form."

DATE: Fri, 17 Aug 2007
SIZE: 78.1 MB
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558: The Price is Right

"I see what you're doing, Keith. Don't do it."

DATE: Thu, 16 Aug 2007
SIZE: 62.6 MB
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557: Locked Up

"Jail did not tame you, and I like to see that!"

DATE: Wed, 15 Aug 2007
SIZE: 58.4 MB
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556: The Heat is On

"Why would I go into a situation where I'm kind of surprised I wasn't arrested?"

DATE: Mon, 13 Aug 2007
SIZE: 67.7 MB
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555: Eat My Class

"And these people are watching you on your knees?"

DATE: Sat, 11 Aug 2007
SIZE: 56.4 MB
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554: Public Indecency

"People don't understand my trials!"

DATE: Fri, 10 Aug 2007
SIZE: 55.5 MB
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553: Behavior Analysis

"Your marshmallow fat fuck is getting too big! Calm down!"

DATE: Wed, 08 Aug 2007
SIZE: 95.5 MB
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552: Eau de Whore

"She's jerking you off with her shin?"

DATE: Tue, 07 Aug 2007
SIZE: 74.6 MB
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551: Talking to Strangers

"The maggots eat away the diseases and your penis."

DATE: Mon, 06 Aug 2007
SIZE: 56.4 MB
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550: Survivors

"It's like Keith and I went to like a marriage counseling weekend."

DATE: Fri, 03 Aug 2007
SIZE: 57.2 MB
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549: Whore Etiquette

"I'm not a whore, you bastard!"

DATE: Thu, 02 Aug 2007
SIZE: 60.5 MB
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548: Dumb Mouth

"Ain't nobody in this room Voldemort. Own it."

DATE: Thu, 02 Aug 2007
SIZE: 44.1 MB
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547: Kill Yourself

"Alright this is it. Parked my car. I wish everyone who ever was nice to me well. See you in the next life."

DATE: Tue, 31 Jul 2007
SIZE: 62.8 MB
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546: Crazy Mike

"Admit to yourself you're powerless."

DATE: Mon, 30 Jul 2007
SIZE: 52.6 MB
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545: Dead Zone

"Don't you know that Keith is sensitive?"

DATE: Sat, 28 Jul 2007
SIZE: 61.2 MB
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544: Team Drunk Ottawa

"You just picture 'em walkin' around that whole country like dummies."

DATE: Fri, 27 Jul 2007
SIZE: 106. MB
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543: Manic-Depressive

"Tyrone pissed in the bed last night."

DATE: Thu, 26 Jul 2007
SIZE: 52.1 MB
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542: The Simpsons Movie

"Aughh, I don't want that bony hug."

DATE: Tue, 24 Jul 2007
SIZE: 54.6 MB
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541: I'm Adorable

"Great news for members of PodShow."

DATE: Sat, 21 Jul 2007
SIZE: 50.0 MB
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540: Lateral Thinking

"I swear to God if I see you guys make out again..."

DATE: Fri, 20 Jul 2007
SIZE: 99.8 MB
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539: What Smart People Do

"Everybody caught a case of ninth grade."

DATE: Thu, 19 Jul 2007
SIZE: 79.6 MB
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538: Pull Over

"Rhian, did I kiss you?"

DATE: Wed, 18 Jul 2007
SIZE: 38.7 MB
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537: How Canada Cheated

"Not a nicer fuckin' country."

DATE: Mon, 16 Jul 2007
SIZE: 0.72 MB
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Show 536: Live in Canada

KATG.com/live

DATE: Thu, 12 Jul 2007
SIZE: 61.3 MB
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535: Rellek in the City

"Nobody was thinking about you, Keith Malley."

DATE: Thu, 12 Jul 2007
SIZE: 60.5 MB
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534: Rellek's Itinerary

"There's just nothing nice that come out of these fuckin' throats."

DATE: Wed, 11 Jul 2007
SIZE: 46.3 MB
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533: Rellek's Mom

"I wasn't walking around like an ape throwing shit, was I?"

DATE: Mon, 09 Jul 2007
SIZE: 53.2 MB
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532: Rellek at The Strip Club

"Behave! Behave, Matthew!"

DATE: Sat, 07 Jul 2007
SIZE: 53.8 MB
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531: Rellek's Coming

"If I'm the classiest bitch of upstate New York then that's fuckin' sad."

DATE: Thu, 05 Jul 2007
SIZE: 82.1 MB
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530: Gas, Games and Glory

"Take out your dictionary, get your wine, and buttfuck each other."

DATE: Wed, 04 Jul 2007
SIZE: 60.0 MB
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529: The Itch

"Pussy has an amazing way of changing your point of view."

DATE: Tue, 03 Jul 2007
SIZE: 85.2 MB
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528: Movie Monday

"You were gonna kill yourself if I didn't take you back. What was going through your head?"

DATE: Sat, 30 Jun 2007
SIZE: 74.6 MB
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527: Off to Market

"You had me balls deep, but God forbid I touched your hair."

DATE: Fri, 29 Jun 2007
SIZE: 104. MB
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526: Hurt

"Whatever she got is stronger than herpes."

DATE: Thu, 28 Jun 2007
SIZE: 60.2 MB
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525: Cages and Rats

"'Suck my dick' means you may suck my dick at best."

DATE: Wed, 27 Jun 2007
SIZE: 71.4 MB
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524: Doing it to Yourself

"I don't think anything is too far."

DATE: Sat, 23 Jun 2007
SIZE: 71.9 MB
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523: Potty Mouth

"This is a doublewide, baby."

DATE: Thu, 21 Jun 2007
SIZE: 68.7 MB
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522: Top Notch

"I'm having trouble hearing you ladies with all that bum dick in your mouth."

DATE: Wed, 20 Jun 2007
SIZE: 82.5 MB
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521: Working Stiffs

"I don't know if you know this, but some women are C U Next TuesdayS."

DATE: Wed, 20 Jun 2007
SIZE: 58.5 MB
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520: Are You High?

"All that needs edited out."

DATE: Mon, 18 Jun 2007
SIZE: 58.2 MB
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519: Beg, Borrow, Steal

"I guess she can just hand us the money and then drop his pants."

DATE: Sat, 16 Jun 2007
SIZE: 56.5 MB
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518: Cruel Intentions

"Can I call out the bitch who fuckin' turned me in?"

DATE: Fri, 15 Jun 2007
SIZE: 107. MB
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517: Justice

"You broke out the Keith Malley Asshole Tone."

DATE: Wed, 13 Jun 2007
SIZE: 70.8 MB
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516: Daddy & Me

"Dicks throw me. Constantly."

DATE: Wed, 13 Jun 2007
SIZE: 53.8 MB
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515: State of Emergency

"Is this the guy's way of sizing us up?"

DATE: Tue, 12 Jun 2007
SIZE: 71.9 MB
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514: Digging Deep

"I can't help you. You did the Chicken Dance."

DATE: Sat, 09 Jun 2007
SIZE: 78.3 MB
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513: Cockfights

"You lose if you're all Cranky Bitchy McBitch."

DATE: Fri, 08 Jun 2007
SIZE: 61.7 MB
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512: Out of the Vagina

"Your ovaries will fall out your mouth."

DATE: Thu, 07 Jun 2007
SIZE: 92.5 MB
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511: Dookie Breath

"Well hurry up, I gotta rape you."

DATE: Wed, 06 Jun 2007
SIZE: 67.5 MB
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510: Make It Work

"You're goofy and stupid and you're not on my side ever because you're such a dummy dumb and you get high all the time."

DATE: Tue, 05 Jun 2007
SIZE: 79.4 MB
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509: Oh Sandi

"If you think it's cool to spread and encourage this wave of misogyny then best of luck to you."

DATE: Sat, 02 Jun 2007
SIZE: 55.5 MB
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508: Chemda Ruins Everything

"Please don't repeat this on the show."

DATE: Fri, 01 Jun 2007
SIZE: 77.2 MB
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507: Deep and Dumb

"Don't escalate me. "

DATE: Wed, 30 May 2007
SIZE: 65.2 MB
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506: The PaleSkin and FreckleFace Show

"That's what you do when a Dee is right there."

DATE: Tue, 29 May 2007
SIZE: 88.6 MB
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505: Girls are Stupid

"Can't wait for your spin-off show, Dummy."

DATE: Sat, 26 May 2007
SIZE: 73.3 MB
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504: Very Excited!

"When in doubt I reference my vagina."

DATE: Thu, 24 May 2007
SIZE: 100. MB
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503: Down to Earth

"'Where you goin'?' 'To fuck your friend. Good times and bad times...'"

DATE: Wed, 23 May 2007
SIZE: 61.3 MB
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502: Do You Love Me?

"Anyone who talks to me like that is getting talked to exactly the same way back. So prepare yourself if you want that to be our relationship."

DATE: Tue, 22 May 2007
SIZE: 65.0 MB
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501: The Gunner

"Sex after anything cures it. Come on."

DATE: Mon, 21 May 2007
SIZE: 99.0 MB
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500: Then and Now

"And if you don't like that, sir, you can eat out my inner asshole."

DATE: Sat, 19 May 2007
SIZE: 64.6 MB
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499: Rolling in the Dough

"I don't know with these clowns."

DATE: Sat, 19 May 2007
SIZE: 59.1 MB
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499: Rolling in the Dough

"I don't know these clowns."

DATE: Thu, 17 May 2007
SIZE: 73.9 MB
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497: Sweet Romance

"Another podcast first?"

DATE: Tue, 15 May 2007
SIZE: 66.3 MB
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496: Uncensored

"You're gonna be performing your face in a pillow."

DATE: Mon, 14 May 2007
SIZE: 58.7 MB
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495: Being the Adult

"I'm supposed to be doing this stuff in private."

DATE: Sat, 12 May 2007
SIZE: 89.9 MB
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494: Big Meanie

"I get upset sometimes. I get upset sometimes..."

DATE: Thu, 10 May 2007
SIZE: 66.3 MB
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493: The Best Medicine

"He screwed her up the stage; he screwed her down the stage."

DATE: Wed, 09 May 2007
SIZE: 66.8 MB
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492: Keep the Change

"i was wondering if you would let me interview you two, its for a school project, it wont take long, ill just send you30-40 questions, and you'll send them back to me, with all the answers:D"

DATE: Wed, 09 May 2007
SIZE: 55.8 MB
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491: Troublemakers

"You walk around acting like I can fuck you. That's all you do."

DATE: Tue, 08 May 2007
SIZE: 74.0 MB
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490: The High Life

"You've been Phone Snapped!"

DATE: Fri, 04 May 2007
SIZE: 56.2 MB
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489: Chemda Needs a Boyfriend

"Chemda has what they call emotions."

DATE: Thu, 03 May 2007
SIZE: 79.9 MB
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488: Sicko

"We got a special guest: Dumby Dunce that'll just sit here all day."

DATE: Wed, 02 May 2007
SIZE: 95.0 MB
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487: Da Bomb

"Try to make money, and have a nice life. That's all I can tell you. We're all doomed."

DATE: Tue, 01 May 2007
SIZE: 73.1 MB
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486: HA HA!

"Don't give us shit. Make me earn shit."

DATE: Mon, 30 Apr 2007
SIZE: 55.0 MB
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BEGINNINGS 12: And You Must Carry On

69: The Girl On Vicodin (June 8 05) Keith creates a new robot-resistance movement. (7:30 to 9:00) 82: America We Stand As One (June 27 05) Interview with the great Dennis USA Madalone. (2:00 to 32:00) 83: USA All The Way (June 28 05) More HUAR news, including the MapQuest diversion theory. (15:15 to 17:45) Dennis Madalone redux and email responses. (2:00 to 8:45) 81: Earning Daddy's Approval (June 24 05) More robots in the news. Keep laughing, meat puppets. The Japanese and Hentai porn. (8:30 to 22:30) America We Stand As One by Dennis Madalone

DATE: Fri, 27 Apr 2007
SIZE: 66.9 MB
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BEGINNINGS 11: Platespotting

81: Earning Daddy's Approval (June 24 05) Keith's dad and his many, oh, lets call them eccentricities. (22:30 to 45:00) 59: Fuck a Title Wednesday (May 25 05) International basketball, Ethiopian cuisine, and Keith helps an ex as she runs the marathon. (8:15 to 19:30) 67: Stupid Money (June 6 05) Keith works at an old age home. (35:00 to 50:00) Calling it In (June 1 05) Keith gets some underwear for Christmas (27:00 to 39:00, with edits) 48: Lying, Dying (May 10, 05) Parents and cussin'. (7:45 to 16:30) 80: Gaylordy Lordy (June 23 05) Chemda and Patrice share stories of past loves and/or abusers. Keith reminisces about his school days and his insult book. (BEGIN to 12:00)

DATE: Thu, 26 Apr 2007
SIZE: 58.7 MB
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BEGINNINGS 10: Games 'n Tings

74: The Greatest Generation (June 15 '05) Chemda does a clown job at a VA hospital barbecue. (BEGIN to 8:30) 52: Working From Home (May 16 '05) Keith witnesses a major confrontation at a kid's party, and almost creams himself. (58:00 to 1:09:00) 66: Pain Is Good (June 3 '05) Chemda has to answer to a 10 year-old at her party. These little fuckin' bitches. (20:00 to 23:30) 54: Free Porn (May 18 '05) Chemda gets a post-party complaint, and the genesis of A-B porn is documented. (26:00 to 43:00) 57: Mommy & Me, DAMMIT! (May 23 '05) Keith, Curious George, a psychotic mom, and an assload of half-dead butterflies. (29:30 to 52:00)

DATE: Wed, 25 Apr 2007
SIZE: 78.4 MB
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BEGINNINGS 9: The Wonder Years, Only Stickier

76: How To F*** (June 17 '05) Chemda and her brother, Michael, regale each other with stories of innocence and beauty. Count the number of times Michael says âtwat." (4:45 to 56:30) 56: voodoolulu (May 20 '05) Lulu's "masturbation odyssey." Frankly, she's way more talented than this. (12:30 to 28:45, 40:00 to 58:45)

DATE: Tue, 24 Apr 2007
SIZE: 68.3 MB
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Best Of 8: Tooth and Nail

71: Danny Yale's Mom is a Bad Parent (June 10 '05) - Chemda goes coo-coos McGoos over her food-packed gum-holes. (15:30 to 23:30) 72: Jackson Free, Ricans Jailed (June 13 '05) - Puerto Rican Day Parade blotter, more dental mirth, and mental dearth. (12:15 to 24:50) 78: Grooming: Not Just For Queers (June 21 '05) - A news story about a stabbing at Chuck E.'s leads into a discussion about man-grooming. Chemda recounts her recent root canal. (9:10 to 42:20) 79: When News Hits Home (June 22 '05) - Keith admits defeat at the hands of email, crime in the city, and the family dynamic in times of crisis. (34:15 to 56:00)

DATE: Mon, 23 Apr 2007
SIZE: 62.8 MB
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Best Of 7: Broads and a Quad

49: DJ Quad (May 11 '05) - Prophetically, Keith injures his finger and learns what disability feels like. Then they talk to a real cripple. (BEGIN to 26:00) 58: Faking the Funk (May 24 '05) - Chemda and Keith lay into a podcast called "Israelisms" (surprisingly enough, still around) that think they, like others, can talk shit and still remain friendly. (15:00 to 28:00) 47: Fuck Paris Hilton (May 9 '05) - A brutal critique of the short-lived (thank Christ) Paris Podcast and, by association, the PodShow creeps who ate it up with painted-on grins. (BEGIN to 23:00) 65: What's in a Name (June 2 '05) - The seriosos dine with a pseudo-designer anger-fuck ex of Keith's, and the claws of Chemda are bared. Patrice details the delicacies of hooker-bookin'. (BEGIN to 16:00)

DATE: Sat, 21 Apr 2007
SIZE: 78.5 MB
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485: Who's the Pig?

"This is from the New York City Police Department. And how do you know Keith?"

DATE: Thu, 19 Apr 2007
SIZE: 78.5 MB
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484: Blame Game

"Eat this you giant tree trunk piece of ass!"

DATE: Wed, 18 Apr 2007
SIZE: 97.7 MB
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483: Guns N' Roonies

"We would rather be addicted to the most powerful heroin than be fucked by this old motherfucker."

DATE: Tue, 17 Apr 2007
SIZE: 60.9 MB
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482: The Inner Circle

"I think Keith's first DVD broke up my relationship."

DATE: Sat, 14 Apr 2007
SIZE: 52.7 MB
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481: Oh Canada

"I've got a weapon in Central Park I gotta go pick up."

DATE: Fri, 13 Apr 2007
SIZE: 77.3 MB
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480: Rules to Forgiveness

"Lick balls. Hope for the best."

DATE: Wed, 11 Apr 2007
SIZE: 67.3 MB
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479: The Pursuit of Nappiness

"I'm not racist. Look how dark my girlfriend's skin is."

DATE: Wed, 11 Apr 2007
SIZE: 108. MB
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478: Psychic Witch

"There is a divine blessing for brumski."

DATE: Tue, 10 Apr 2007
SIZE: 62.0 MB
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477: TeacHER

"A-no-no-no! A-no-no-no! Welcome to New York City, Keith!"

DATE: Sat, 07 Apr 2007
SIZE: 56.9 MB
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476: Social Intercourse

"Actually your boobies are some of the nicest boobies I've ever seen."

DATE: Fri, 06 Apr 2007
SIZE: 56.7 MB
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475: When People are Assholes

"Brumski's the knew way we do business."

DATE: Wed, 04 Apr 2007
SIZE: 93.6 MB
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474: Josh The Jew

"That's what I did. That's what I did. I can live with that."

DATE: Tue, 03 Apr 2007
SIZE: 63.4 MB
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473: Seven and Counting

"Do you do that with people you fake don't like? We had something, you fake fuck!"

DATE: Mon, 02 Apr 2007
SIZE: 89.5 MB
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472: Debating Team

"Deuce wants to have an old Israeli sit-down with me, and that concerns me."

DATE: Sat, 31 Mar 2007
SIZE: 77.1 MB
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471: David Says

"You don't call a girl a faggot, Homo."

DATE: Fri, 30 Mar 2007
SIZE: 67.4 MB
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470: Not Kosher

"Keith and The Girl will get his penis. I guarantee it. I promise you."

DATE: Thu, 29 Mar 2007
SIZE: 60.0 MB
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469: Post-Traumatic Cryers

"Now are you on Keith and The Girl's side? Now are you? Ridiculous."

DATE: Mon, 26 Mar 2007
SIZE: 96.9 MB
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468: Waiting for the Payout

"Pod-people don't play nice with each other."

DATE: Sat, 24 Mar 2007
SIZE: 65.5 MB
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467: Picture Perfect

"I get to see the Keith and Chemda that a lot of people don't get to see. And it's lovely, don't get me wrong. But..."

DATE: Fri, 23 Mar 2007
SIZE: 72.1 MB
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466: Armchair Doctors

"War is delightful. Yeah, to those that haven't yet experienced it."

DATE: Wed, 21 Mar 2007
SIZE: 92.9 MB
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465: 2 Dump Minimum

"I'm not startin' a fight..."

DATE: Tue, 20 Mar 2007
SIZE: 65.2 MB
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464: Teaching Lessons

"What a table of not nice people, including your wife, dude."

DATE: Sun, 18 Mar 2007
SIZE: 73.0 MB
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463: We're Done Talking

"There's your fuckin' freedom of speech!"

DATE: Fri, 16 Mar 2007
SIZE: 101. MB
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462: Rooners

"Whoa whoa whoa. Now say that again in slower."

DATE: Wed, 14 Mar 2007
SIZE: 69.8 MB
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461: Psychology 101

"Can you understand why people would be homophobic?

DATE: Tue, 13 Mar 2007
SIZE: 57.1 MB
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460: Gasp

"If you dare call my shit a monkeybox..."

DATE: Tue, 13 Mar 2007
SIZE: 64.6 MB
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459: Love & Poetry

"I'll tell you what: I beat you, and I would like you to call in the show and just admit that I am very very smart."

DATE: Sat, 10 Mar 2007
SIZE: 57.4 MB
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458: Anatomy of a Nutsack

"My penis is digital."

DATE: Fri, 09 Mar 2007
SIZE: 58.1 MB
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457: Marry Me!

"I'd like to kill myself and then get it back."

DATE: Thu, 08 Mar 2007
SIZE: 68.0 MB
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456: Two Years Down

"If you won the bajillion dollar lottery, would you still do the show?"

DATE: Wed, 07 Mar 2007
SIZE: 86.2 MB
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455: Faraway Fantasies

"I can't love you this much and you not give a fuck."

DATE: Mon, 05 Mar 2007
SIZE: 94.4 MB
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454: Busted!

"And don't you dare go, 'What's the big deal?' If you don't know, then you're a fuckin' idiot!"

DATE: Sat, 03 Mar 2007
SIZE: 74.2 MB
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453: Role-Playing Games

"Liar, liar, liar with your pants on fire - always goin' back on your word."

DATE: Fri, 02 Mar 2007
SIZE: 84.9 MB
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452: Shut Your Face

"There are no secrets. Only information you don't yet have."

DATE: Wed, 28 Feb 2007
SIZE: 51.8 MB
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451: Prove Me Wrong

"Daily downloads of all their shows combined - all their shows combined at PodShow.com..."

DATE: Sun, 25 Feb 2007
SIZE: 1.85 MB
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Show 450: Live in Dallas

www.KATG.com/live

DATE: Fri, 23 Feb 2007
SIZE: 93.7 MB
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449: Trucker Keith

"Secret notebooks and lies. Y'all got a good thing goin' here."

DATE: Thu, 22 Feb 2007
SIZE: 64.8 MB
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448: Chamsa

"You have Brumski; I have Chamsa."

DATE: Wed, 21 Feb 2007
SIZE: 107. MB
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447: You're not Important

"You're not that important. You're gonna be alive again tomorrow."

DATE: Fri, 16 Feb 2007
SIZE: 65.4 MB
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446: You Dropped Your Cane

"Now go get your cane, Little Baby Faggot."

DATE: Thu, 15 Feb 2007
SIZE: 90.1 MB
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445: Work Ethnic

"I need Jesus to help me deal with you."

DATE: Wed, 14 Feb 2007
SIZE: 92.8 MB
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444: I Heart Orgasms

"I'm not underage, but I'm a whore."

DATE: Tue, 13 Feb 2007
SIZE: 62.9 MB
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443: Proud to be an American

"I swoop on suckers like an eagle not a sparrow."

DATE: Mon, 12 Feb 2007
SIZE: 61.4 MB
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442: Spooky is a Hoohaa

"No, balls smell good sometimes."

DATE: Sat, 10 Feb 2007
SIZE: 71.8 MB
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441: ur gr8

"That's really gross. That's really the end of time."

DATE: Fri, 09 Feb 2007
SIZE: 56.4 MB
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440: We Be Playin'

"I woulda really had the dick in the box. Who's gonna know?"

DATE: Wed, 07 Feb 2007
SIZE: 55.5 MB
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439: Pay the Way

"Why can't I think of anything but eat shit?"

DATE: Tue, 06 Feb 2007
SIZE: 55.5 MB
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438: Thank You

"Is any of this your problem? I'm just curious if that's your problem."

DATE: Tue, 06 Feb 2007
SIZE: 58.2 MB
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437: Dummy Gauge

"I don't wanna be in a foxhole with some bullshit knight."

DATE: Sat, 03 Feb 2007
SIZE: 52.9 MB
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436: Serious as a Heart Attack

"Keith, just tell me what to do. I can't function."

DATE: Fri, 02 Feb 2007
SIZE: 56.4 MB
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435: Black History Y'all

"You come from a long line of fucked up."

DATE: Thu, 01 Feb 2007
SIZE: 58.4 MB
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434: Sideline Ho

"They wake up and piss their bed in your house? No. Sideline ho."

DATE: Tue, 30 Jan 2007
SIZE: 59.0 MB
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433: Sip, Rinse, Repeat

"That's a stupid point though, and you know that."

DATE: Mon, 29 Jan 2007
SIZE: 74.1 MB
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432: Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

"This is what ethnics are like. They're just like, 'WAAAH!'"

DATE: Sat, 27 Jan 2007
SIZE: 56.6 MB
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431: Rubber Gloves

"We do Internet stuff now."

DATE: Thu, 25 Jan 2007
SIZE: 69.7 MB
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430: The B-Word

"I don't have fuckin' time to keep you down. Who the fuck has time to keep your stupid-ass down?"

DATE: Thu, 25 Jan 2007
SIZE: 53.1 MB
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429: Picking Fights

"It's all in your head. They take like a bucket of nothing and don't dump it on you."

DATE: Tue, 23 Jan 2007
SIZE: 55.7 MB
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428: Not Cool

"I'll drink his cat piss for a good pleasant conversation."

DATE: Mon, 22 Jan 2007
SIZE: 73.6 MB
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427: Fam

"I'll do anything now. I don't give a fuck if I get fired."

DATE: Sat, 20 Jan 2007
SIZE: 58.9 MB
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426: Nerd!

"And by the way nothin's real. I made all that up."

DATE: Thu, 18 Jan 2007
SIZE: 91.1 MB
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425: Publicity Good

"I eat your hate like love grenades."

DATE: Thu, 18 Jan 2007
SIZE: 55.1 MB
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424: Idiocracy

"It doesn't matter how cool of a chick you are; you don't need a show about your not boyfriend."

DATE: Tue, 16 Jan 2007
SIZE: 65.8 MB
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423: What Would You Do with Money

"If you were my wife I'd divorce you for sayin' that!"

DATE: Fri, 12 Jan 2007
SIZE: 70.1 MB
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422: Good Try

"Patrice, have you had intercourse?"

DATE: Thu, 11 Jan 2007
SIZE: 63.4 MB
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421: Christian Finnegan

"I can't believe I'm here on such an important day."

DATE: Wed, 10 Jan 2007
SIZE: 57.4 MB
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420: Social Idiots

"KeithandTheGirl.com/donate. We know what all of you did."

DATE: Tue, 09 Jan 2007
SIZE: 68.0 MB
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419: Tears or Tits

"No family supports any of that bullshit."

DATE: Sat, 06 Jan 2007
SIZE: 50.9 MB
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418: Dating Practices

"...and my grandmother walked in and took the doll away."

DATE: Fri, 05 Jan 2007
SIZE: 70.0 MB
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417: Feel the Burn

"Keith wants to feel normal again. Quick, somebody admit it."

DATE: Thu, 04 Jan 2007
SIZE: 65.9 MB
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416: God Made This

"Life's a big lollipop to mechanics."

DATE: Wed, 03 Jan 2007
SIZE: 96.9 MB
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415: Recess Wrap-Up

"Happy New Year, _______!"

DATE: Mon, 01 Jan 2007
SIZE: 77.8 MB
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Best Of 6: Clown and Out

- Segment #1 March 16, 2005 - Episode 8: "Clowning Around" (approx. 00:24 to 25:00) With Andrea: The three swap clowning stories and set the stage for all working malcontents everywhere. - Segment #2 March 21, 2005 - Episode 11: "A Bad Day At Work" (approx. 01:18 to 22:15) Chemda does a clown job in Hell's tenement. - Segment #3 March 27, 2005 - Episode 16: "Easter Spectacular - Easter Bunny and The Gay Cruise" (approx. 33:20 to 54:00) K & C go on a gay cruise. - Segment #4 April 11, 2005 - Episode 27: "Then Stop Acting Like Your Stereotype" (approx. 3:50 to 21:25) Keith does a clown job for an Indian family and learns an important lesson about world culture and diversity. No, he doesn't. I'm just fucking with you.

DATE: Fri, 29 Dec 2006
SIZE: 57.7 MB
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Best Of 5: Breakin' the Law

- Segment #1 May 6, 2005 - Episode 46: "Shit Doesn't Freeze" (approx. 3:50 to 15:45) With Patrice: Yep, THAT story. Plus, the first KATG discussion of the scourge that is glitter. - Segment #2 April 27, 2005 - Episode 38: "Click Here, Mom!" (approx. 25:40 to 52:20) Chemda sneaks the parents' car out, Keith shoplifts, crashes into a fence, and tries insurance fraud. Keith tries his hand at deejaying, Chemda laments growing up female in a Jewish household, and more tales of juvenile delinquency. -Segment #3 April 15, 2005 - Episode 31: "Jingles All The Way" (approx. 23:40 to 34:40) Patrice and Chemda get arrested. - Segment #4 May 6, 2005 - Episode 46: "Shit Doesn't Freeze" (approx. 31:30 to 47:25) With Patrice: Lesbian experimentation, bachelorette parties, strippers, fucked-up party pranks, fightin' and what to do when the police come knocking.

DATE: Thu, 28 Dec 2006
SIZE: 67.5 MB
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Best Of 4: Crack is Fuckin' Awesome

- Segment #1 April 6, 2005 - Episode 24: "I'll Find You, John Petrie" (approx. 23:00 to 54:00) K & C swap roommate horror stories, including the now infamous Messrs. John DeForest Petrie and One-Eyed Davis. Great drug stories, too. The good old-fashioned rock, indeed. - Segment #2 April 7, 2005 - Episode 25: "The Relationship Hour" (approx. 21:50 to 44:32) How Keith met Davis, the paradigm shift of ex-roommates and ex-seriosi to "just friends," and more on the origins of our favorite podcasting couple. - Segment #3 April 21, 2005 - Episode 35: "Retard Rundown" (approx. 9:30 to 25:20) With Patrice: a gossip item about Natasha Lyonne leads into more fun with Ol' One-Eye, state-of-the art apartment trashing and the resulting legal woes, and Chemda & Patrice swap stories on their experiments with artificial joy. - Segment #4 April 25, 2005 - Episode 37: "School Up In Ya" (approx. 18:40 to 23:05) More fucking with Obi-Wan-Eye Davis.

DATE: Wed, 27 Dec 2006
SIZE: 55.2 MB
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Best Of 3: The Hole Truth

- Segment #1 March 30, 2005 - Episode 19: "Baby's First Phone Call" (approx. 17:00 to 41:00) More on stand-up comics, bringer shows, contest scams, and more leading up to the taping of Keith's second CD, "Children's Party Songs." - Segment #2 April 4, 2005 - Episode 22: "Mitch Hedberg, Hippies, And The Pope" (approx. 26:30 to 36:30) A meeting with Sal. - Segment #3 April 18, 2005 - Episode 32: "Ginny (Guinea?) My Clothes Already" (approx. 12:30 to 38:40) Post-taping wrap-up.

DATE: Tue, 26 Dec 2006
SIZE: 52.3 MB
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Best Of 2: Tragic/Comic

- SEGMENT #1  April 11,  2005 - Episode 27: "Then Stop Acting Like Your Stereotype"  (approx. 37:55 to 48:45)  Surf Reality stories, the nature of drug-inspired performance art, Feminism, the ex-roommates of Chemda, and the desperate measures a comic can take to win back a crowd. - SEGMENT #2  April 5, 2005 - Episode 23: "Pay Your Fuckin' Tab" (approx. begin to 19:45)  Movie and dinner with a cheap friend of a friend.  Dating tactics, group dining, and the awkward beginnings of K & C as a couple. - SEGMENT #3  March 23, 2005 - Episode 13: "The Pat O'Brien Phone Sex Tapes" (approx. 16:30 to 29:00)  Keith talks with Chemda about his approach to stand-up comedy, their disdain for "bringer" shows, and the drudgery that pursuing a successful career in comedy can lead to eventually. - SEGMENT #4  April 20, 2005 - Episode 34: "Singers Wanted" (approx. 33:00 to 38:10)  Trivia with Keet. - SEGMENT #5  May 3, 2005 - Episode 43: "Ghetto Clue" (approx. 42:50 to 51:20)  Keith on the state of comedy: D.L. Hughley, repeating jokes, going to comedy special tapings and warm-up comics. - SEGMENT #6  April 28, 2005 - Episode 40: "Threats And Blessings" (approx. 25:45 to 27:30)  Friend of a friend revisited with Patrice on back-up.

DATE: Mon, 25 Dec 2006
SIZE: 53.5 MB
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Best Of 1: God, Grudges and Goin' Blind

- Segment #1 March 27, 2005 - Episode 16: "Easter Spectacular and the Gay Cruise" (approx. 00:30 to 17:00) Discussion of Keith and Chemda's families, religious upbringings, and eventually breaking away from their respective faiths. They talk about their experiences with each other's houses of worship, and Keith recounts a relationship with a landlord/clergyman that gets a little too close for comfort. - Segment #2 April 8, 2005 - Episode 26: "Oy To The Vey" (approx. 26:20 to 35:00) Chemda avenges an injustice by calling an evil party entertainment agency under false pretenses. This leads into a large conversation about Jews and Jewish customs, Keith and Chemda's families, and the pressures of becoming an adult. They call Charlie and JosĂ to swap restaurant stories, which devolves into guy-talk: chicks and booze. - Sement #3 April 13, 2005 - Episode 29: "Documentary Do's and Don'ts" (approx. 16:20 to 24:15) Chemda walks in on Keith having some quality time, and they talk about masturbation. - Segment #4 April 8, 2005 - Episode 26: "Oy To The Vey" (approx. 56:00 to 1:04:00) Chemda calls Fun Factory again.

DATE: Sat, 23 Dec 2006
SIZE: 54.7 MB
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414: Awkward Silence is Golden

"Fuck you. And you know who you are."

DATE: Fri, 22 Dec 2006
SIZE: 0 MB
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413: Maxed Out - Patrice Drunk

"By the end it will just be Keith in a room. With a mic and a palm pilot."

DATE: Fri, 22 Dec 2006
SIZE: 0 MB
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412: Maxed Out - Patrice Sober

"In 2007: Fuck everybody."

DATE: Wed, 20 Dec 2006
SIZE: 56.3 MB
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411: Nature vs Nurture

"This missile brought to you by KATG.com and USAF AMMO"

DATE: Wed, 20 Dec 2006
SIZE: 71.6 MB
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410: Behave

"You don't get to be the asshole 'cause you were born that way. We all get to be the asshole."

DATE: Mon, 18 Dec 2006
SIZE: 80.4 MB
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409: New Friend Request

"How's that for a break?"

DATE: Sat, 16 Dec 2006
SIZE: 78.1 MB
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408: Circle of Quiet

"'Cause they seem like a couple right now! Girls, are you with me?"

DATE: Thu, 14 Dec 2006
SIZE: 69.9 MB
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407: Native

"God deliberately made us so that when sick shit happens to us when we're young we don't remember."

DATE: Thu, 14 Dec 2006
SIZE: 54.3 MB
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406: Spreading the Cheer

"Hate 'em for being the equivalent of me breaking into your house and wiping a strange 12-foot dick across your neck."

DATE: Wed, 13 Dec 2006
SIZE: 69.9 MB
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405: Paying for the Drink

"This is like Keepin' It Real Take 2."

DATE: Tue, 12 Dec 2006
SIZE: 88.3 MB
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404: Crazy Math

"Whoa. A lot a fuckin' demands for bein' a heifer, honey."

DATE: Sat, 09 Dec 2006
SIZE: 82.0 MB
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403: You're the Adult

"She perks up when she hears the phrase 'tits were workin''."

DATE: Thu, 07 Dec 2006
SIZE: 69.4 MB
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402: The Penis Show

"Then you can write it on your Taste Chart how that girl was."

DATE: Thu, 07 Dec 2006
SIZE: 90.8 MB
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401: Trash

"Me and every black rapper - are you kidding? You don't know us."

DATE: Wed, 06 Dec 2006
SIZE: 57.6 MB
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400: Still Here

"Still, I want them to know, it only takes an apology."

DATE: Tue, 05 Dec 2006
SIZE: 0 MB
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399: Autism Offends Me

"There's no way to fuckin' win, old man!"

DATE: Sat, 02 Dec 2006
SIZE: 117. MB
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398: Birthdays and Breakups

"Happy birthday; let's break up as an experiment."

DATE: Thu, 30 Nov 2006
SIZE: 107. MB
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397: You're Outted

"Just keep readin' your newspaper headlines. It's doin' ya fuckin' wonders."

DATE: Thu, 30 Nov 2006
SIZE: 51.9 MB
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396: What's so Funny

"It reminded me of the kind of stuff that 6 and 7-year-old boys tell each other in the bathroom."

DATE: Tue, 28 Nov 2006
SIZE: 61.2 MB
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395: WHORE!

"You're weird. That is stupi-creepy."

DATE: Mon, 27 Nov 2006
SIZE: 69.9 MB
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394: Complete Ignorance

"We all have to behave in a way that's better than what comes naturally to us."

DATE: Wed, 22 Nov 2006
SIZE: 92.8 MB
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393: Silly Geese

"Maybe you sign a waiver in case you hit somebody in the face."

DATE: Wed, 22 Nov 2006
SIZE: 73.9 MB
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392: Millionaires

"Disney isn't liquoring me up to get through this bullshit another day."

DATE: Mon, 20 Nov 2006
SIZE: 57.0 MB
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391: What Not to Say

"You're the one who asked, asshole!"

DATE: Sat, 18 Nov 2006
SIZE: 76.0 MB
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390: Financial Aid

"Who's not a priest now? You're welcome!"

DATE: Fri, 17 Nov 2006
SIZE: 77.3 MB
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389: Why Spooky Learned to Cook

"Spooky Manifesto: he's lookin' for ladies."

DATE: Thu, 16 Nov 2006
SIZE: 54.4 MB
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388: Fart; burp!

"Anyway, thanks for your poo story."

DATE: Tue, 14 Nov 2006
SIZE: 54.7 MB
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387: Crushed

"Everybody knows at this point I get killed."

DATE: Mon, 13 Nov 2006
SIZE: 60.0 MB
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386: Stop Drinking... NOT!

"Let's open up the air mattress and sleep under the kitchen table like the celebrities we are."

DATE: Sun, 12 Nov 2006
SIZE: 1.43 MB
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Show 385: Live in Boston

www.KATG.com/live

DATE: Thu, 09 Nov 2006
SIZE: 69.5 MB
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384: Call Me!

"Now it's premeditated. You will go to jail."

DATE: Thu, 09 Nov 2006
SIZE: 51.2 MB
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383: Gypsy King

"They fuckin' ride horses and hit a dead goat's head around!"

DATE: Wed, 08 Nov 2006
SIZE: 121. MB
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382: Getting Over

"Oh you're one of them? Go fuck yourself!"

DATE: Mon, 06 Nov 2006
SIZE: 54.5 MB
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381: But Why did You Lie?

"That is sexy, when you were talkin' about in the car. I was just overwhelmed 'cause it was so hot."

DATE: Sat, 04 Nov 2006
SIZE: 79.0 MB
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380: Deuce's War

"Make fun! I'm the only one trying to make a difference!"

DATE: Fri, 03 Nov 2006
SIZE: 52.9 MB
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379: Media Madness

"I was lookin' for a Teenage Girls Makin' Out, but wait a minute; I can use some tubing."

DATE: Thu, 02 Nov 2006
SIZE: 77.1 MB
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378: Your Wife and Kids

"A good wife always knows her place."

DATE: Tue, 31 Oct 2006
SIZE: 46.6 MB
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377: No Candy Here

"Whatever damage BET didn't get done..."

DATE: Tue, 31 Oct 2006
SIZE: 58.8 MB
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376: Pop Music Good

"This is the soundtrack to the inside of a stroke or a coma. This is what goes on in your head."

DATE: Sat, 28 Oct 2006
SIZE: 53.5 MB
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375: Antsy McPantsy

"I decided to take my life a different route."

DATE: Thu, 26 Oct 2006
SIZE: 76.3 MB
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374: Taking Kids Out

"Sounds like somebody slept with the wrong person."

DATE: Thu, 26 Oct 2006
SIZE: 59.9 MB
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373: Law & Order

"Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to this."

DATE: Wed, 25 Oct 2006
SIZE: 63.2 MB
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372: Your Parents are Right

"Good morning. You're dumb!"

DATE: Mon, 23 Oct 2006
SIZE: 66.6 MB
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371: Being "Nice"

"Do you think I'm not gonna mind prison? I fuck dogs!"

DATE: Sat, 21 Oct 2006
SIZE: 75.4 MB
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370: Baby's First Tattoo

"We'd appreciate it, ladies, if you tickled these twos guys' balls as you were doin' it."

DATE: Thu, 19 Oct 2006
SIZE: 73.8 MB
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369: Jerkin' to It

"That's how Keith has sex. See that, kids?"

DATE: Thu, 19 Oct 2006
SIZE: 46.9 MB
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368: Bobcat Goldthwait

"We shoulda kissed your ass a little more."

DATE: Tue, 17 Oct 2006
SIZE: 46.5 MB
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367: Reverse Advertising

"You start at the face, and then you negotiate."

DATE: Tue, 17 Oct 2006
SIZE: 49.5 MB
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366: Business Etiquette

"...with a joker smile and hot smelly-ass balls slapping against my body repeatedly."

DATE: Sat, 14 Oct 2006
SIZE: 62.3 MB
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365: Lowest Man on the Totem Pole

"Fuck you, I quit!"

DATE: Fri, 13 Oct 2006
SIZE: 77.8 MB
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364: Tears for Queers

"TheSimpsonsMovie.com"

DATE: Thu, 12 Oct 2006
SIZE: 51.4 MB
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363: Balls for President

"Now I want to freeze your finish to see what the fuck it tastes like."

DATE: Tue, 10 Oct 2006
SIZE: 90.3 MB
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362: Paper Towel Ninjas

"Did you invite me out to not have a good time?"

DATE: Sat, 07 Oct 2006
SIZE: 50.7 MB
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361: Peer Pressure

"What the fuck, dude? That is gay. Of course your wife left you. That is stupid."

DATE: Thu, 05 Oct 2006
SIZE: 71.5 MB
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360: Hulk Mode

"Patrice is crazy bad-ass tonight. I'm gonna have nightmares."

DATE: Thu, 05 Oct 2006
SIZE: 52.6 MB
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359: All the Answers

"It is fuckin' torture to have shit in my brain that I can't share. I gotta fuckin' spill out every mother-fuckin' thing."

DATE: Tue, 03 Oct 2006
SIZE: 72.4 MB
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358: Wakka Wakka

"You were so fat! What happened? You were so fat!"

DATE: Tue, 03 Oct 2006
SIZE: 69.5 MB
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357: It's Personal

"He's gonna do whatever I say."

DATE: Fri, 29 Sep 2006
SIZE: 34.3 MB
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356: The Brolo

"Why are you such a dick?"

DATE: Fri, 29 Sep 2006
SIZE: 41.7 MB
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355: T.M.I.

"He knows he's the coolest, rockinest dude in town!"

DATE: Thu, 28 Sep 2006
SIZE: 1.02 MB
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Show 354: Live in L.A.

www.KATG.com/live

DATE: Tue, 26 Sep 2006
SIZE: 63.3 MB
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353: Calm Down

"Oh my God. What the fuck? Your face changed!"

DATE: Sat, 23 Sep 2006
SIZE: 53.9 MB
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352: Jackasses

"AKA I loved it, and I busted three nuts."

DATE: Fri, 22 Sep 2006
SIZE: 75.8 MB
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351: Fuckin' Superficial

"Spooky, did you hear yesterday's show? You can do whatever you want, dammit. You're an adult."

DATE: Thu, 21 Sep 2006
SIZE: 44.4 MB
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350: I Do What I Want.

"We better stick together 'cause we're both fuckin' nuts."

DATE: Tue, 19 Sep 2006
SIZE: 63.7 MB
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349: Podcasting = MONEY!!!

"Damn, Keith, I already stomped on mine!"

DATE: Mon, 18 Sep 2006
SIZE: 71.7 MB
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348: In The Party

"Black People: Do you love Cheez-Itz?"

DATE: Fri, 15 Sep 2006
SIZE: 60.0 MB
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347: A Simpler Time

"Do you have life insurance on Keith? I think he's about to have an aneurysm."

DATE: Thu, 14 Sep 2006
SIZE: 67.8 MB
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346: AIDS Angel

"It's 50 First Dates of your boy dyin'."

DATE: Thu, 14 Sep 2006
SIZE: 52.4 MB
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345: The Rules

"Why are you talking? What are you responding to? My question is not done yet!"

DATE: Tue, 12 Sep 2006
SIZE: 87.7 MB
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344: Blind Date and Overweight

"Would you just end this relationship now? Are you kidding me?"

DATE: Mon, 11 Sep 2006
SIZE: 102. MB
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343: Volunteering

"I've made a few queers in my day."

DATE: Sat, 09 Sep 2006
SIZE: 82.4 MB
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342: Babysitting

"12-year-olds. That's where the money's at."

DATE: Fri, 08 Sep 2006
SIZE: 80.7 MB
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341: Baby's First Abortion

"Don't nobody know nothin'."

DATE: Wed, 06 Sep 2006
SIZE: 54.1 MB
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340: Look Who's Talking

"Why you taking it so seriously?"

DATE: Wed, 06 Sep 2006
SIZE: 116. MB
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339: Knock First

"I do The Triple Finger. I do three fingers."

DATE: Sat, 02 Sep 2006
SIZE: 81.7 MB
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338: Year of the Faggot

"What's goin' on, Pubeless Cock n' ballz?"

DATE: Thu, 31 Aug 2006
SIZE: 65.4 MB
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337: Inspire!

"Live free or die."

DATE: Thu, 31 Aug 2006
SIZE: 53.8 MB
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336: Do Not Pass Go

"Take the pie. All the pie you can get."

DATE: Wed, 30 Aug 2006
SIZE: 56.7 MB
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335: Working for a Living

"Sorry, we smoked all $40."

DATE: Mon, 28 Aug 2006
SIZE: 75.7 MB
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334: For Richer or Poorer

"She didn't get fingered; she got eaten out. I remember Chemda said she came in like two minutes."

DATE: Sat, 26 Aug 2006
SIZE: 54.5 MB
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333: For the Children

"It's a 30-minute drive to the airport, but at least we've got cum guzzling to talk about."

DATE: Thu, 24 Aug 2006
SIZE: 60.5 MB
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332: Blue Collar Honesty

"If you believe in God, admit that He likes jokes."

DATE: Wed, 23 Aug 2006
SIZE: 57.8 MB
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331: Next Question

"You guys play softball, don't you? You just come out and say what you feel. We call this show: I Hate This Guy."

DATE: Tue, 22 Aug 2006
SIZE: 63.5 MB
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330: The 42-Hour Podcast

"I can prove my record, Ricky Gervais!"

DATE: Sat, 19 Aug 2006
SIZE: 105. MB
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329: Homewrecker

"No, I don't wanna be in your football thing! Now it's weird, isn't it? Now I'm the asshole!"

DATE: Thu, 17 Aug 2006
SIZE: 64.8 MB
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328: Gross Out

"I'm not the one handing out candy in a shit factory!"

DATE: Thu, 17 Aug 2006
SIZE: 41.7 MB
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327: Dummies and Their Dumb Shit

"I bet you're not reading this."

DATE: Wed, 16 Aug 2006
SIZE: 58.8 MB
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326: Chavs are Bollocks, Innit?

"When you need to urinate, do it in this or you will die."

DATE: Mon, 14 Aug 2006
SIZE: 87.0 MB
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325: This is My Job

"But I haven't punched anybody in the face while they were sleeping, either. You've done a lot of things nobody else has done."

DATE: Sat, 12 Aug 2006
SIZE: 68.9 MB
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324: The Love of a Parent

"Cadet, you got a lot of balls to say such filth to me. And yes I have my shirt."

DATE: Fri, 11 Aug 2006
SIZE: 54.9 MB
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323: The Signs are Showing

"Look how he judges me so harsh."

DATE: Thu, 10 Aug 2006
SIZE: 97.4 MB
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322: 4 of Clubs

"Stare at him. Stare at him. Don't help him. Why do you guys help these people out?"

DATE: Tue, 08 Aug 2006
SIZE: 47.9 MB
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321: Search This

"Each hour-long episode is podcast from New York and punctuated with several spit-semen-through-your-nose moments of hilarity."

DATE: Mon, 07 Aug 2006
SIZE: 56.7 MB
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320: Use a Condom

"I'm aborting the baby."

DATE: Sat, 05 Aug 2006
SIZE: 55.6 MB
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319: Two and a Half Apologies

"You're being used, and you know it. That's the saddest thing. You know it."

DATE: Fri, 04 Aug 2006
SIZE: 62.2 MB
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318: Lost in Translation

"What's a gayfer?"

DATE: Thu, 03 Aug 2006
SIZE: 48.5 MB
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317: The Jay Thomas Interview

"You're a goddamn podcast for 15 fuckin' minutes and you come on tellin' me what to do after 30 years of nonstop fuckin' whatever nonstop I been doin'!"

DATE: Wed, 02 Aug 2006
SIZE: 59.2 MB
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316: Sweet PotatoE

"Effing Jews."

DATE: Tue, 01 Aug 2006
SIZE: 49.0 MB
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315: Dopey Relationships

"Today Bush addressed the NAACP and gave a speech to an entire audience of black people. At least that's what I'm told. I don't see color."

DATE: Sat, 29 Jul 2006
SIZE: 87.8 MB
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314: Fancy Pants

"Lemme tell you something Adam Curry: You better tell your boy to shut the fuck up. 'Cause he's making you guys look ridiculous."

DATE: Thu, 27 Jul 2006
SIZE: 67.1 MB
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313: Too Little, Too Late

"Will you stop interrupting me? It drives me crazy when I listen to the show and I hear you interrupt me. Left and fucking right!"

DATE: Wed, 26 Jul 2006
SIZE: 79.0 MB
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312: In Heat

"I have never been so utterly blown away by the sad state of affairs when it comes to podcasters' RSS feeds."

DATE: Tue, 25 Jul 2006
SIZE: 66.8 MB
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311: Assed Out

"I just do it on Suck a Dick Wednesday. Bye!"

DATE: Fri, 21 Jul 2006
SIZE: 40.0 MB
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310: Leaving Las Vegas

"America loves shit."

DATE: Thu, 20 Jul 2006
SIZE: 75.2 MB
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309: Viva Las Vegas

"And I liked that. 'Cause you don't get that in Jersey."

DATE: Mon, 17 Jul 2006
SIZE: 56.0 MB
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308: What Happens in Vegas?

"Can you get premature ejaculation insurance for an extra $50?"

DATE: Sat, 15 Jul 2006
SIZE: 70.6 MB
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307: Death Dealers

"You said you don't care about my country... Now you're saying fuck my grandfather..."

DATE: Thu, 13 Jul 2006
SIZE: 90.6 MB
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306: Represent!

"Are you having a Keith Klux Klan moment?"

DATE: Wed, 12 Jul 2006
SIZE: 57.4 MB
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305: Keeping a Secret

"If someone was touching you like that you would never date them."

DATE: Mon, 10 Jul 2006
SIZE: 37.4 MB
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304: Mic Check

"I'm trying to find closure!"

DATE: Sat, 08 Jul 2006
SIZE: 42.6 MB
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303: Uncle Miltie

"I sat in my own shit for 45 minutes. It's so good!"

DATE: Thu, 06 Jul 2006
SIZE: 62.4 MB
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302: Father Malley

"We don't need to tell them about the leprechauns. That can be our story."

DATE: Thu, 06 Jul 2006
SIZE: 0.93 MB
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300: LIVE AUDIENCE!

www.KATG.com/300

DATE: Thu, 06 Jul 2006
SIZE: 61.0 MB
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301: Beat the Band

"Somerset, Pennsylvania: You anger me!"

DATE: Fri, 30 Jun 2006
SIZE: 64.5 MB
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299: Burger Lickin'

"Look at the anger in her face. Look at Keith like that."

DATE: Wed, 28 Jun 2006
SIZE: 29.2 MB
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298: Complaining About Nothing

"You're not ready for the advanced course, baby. That's all."

DATE: Wed, 28 Jun 2006
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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297: Bad Advice

"We wanted to thank you for helping us find the solution to a particularly frustrating issue. Smiley face."

DATE: Mon, 26 Jun 2006
SIZE: 61.0 MB
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296: Advanced Racism

"Why in God's name wouldn't you respond to those e-mails?"

DATE: Sun, 25 Jun 2006
SIZE: 60.7 MB
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295: Socially Disconnected

"Don't be sorry, baby, be you!"

DATE: Fri, 23 Jun 2006
SIZE: 43.2 MB
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294: Direction

"I have a nervous tick. I jerk off at kids' parties."

DATE: Wed, 21 Jun 2006
SIZE: 44.5 MB
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293: Glitter and Shit

"What the fuck are you laughin' at? You do this! News flash: That's what you do."

DATE: Tue, 20 Jun 2006
SIZE: 41.3 MB
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292: Bathroom Humor

"I am too small of a man to look into the great mind of Brother Love."

DATE: Tue, 20 Jun 2006
SIZE: 85.2 MB
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291: Driven

"I hate that women use that as a weapon."

DATE: Sat, 17 Jun 2006
SIZE: 75.0 MB
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290: Making Girls Cry

"I've heard or seen you do some evil shit. I would never wanna be on your bad side."

DATE: Fri, 16 Jun 2006
SIZE: 52.5 MB
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289: The Finer Things

"New York: Tag. You're it."

DATE: Wed, 14 Jun 2006
SIZE: 45.5 MB
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288: Brad's Awesome Letter

"Nobody's allowed to ding this 'cause Brad needs his fuckin' letter told."

DATE: Tue, 13 Jun 2006
SIZE: 43.7 MB
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287: Wasted Youth

"When that epiphany happens then uh... just give us a call back..."

DATE: Tue, 13 Jun 2006
SIZE: 42.7 MB
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286: Too Many Choices

"Everything, I think, is a test."

DATE: Sat, 10 Jun 2006
SIZE: 38.1 MB
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285: Love Meter

"The shock, awe and horror on the faces of the audience..."

DATE: Fri, 09 Jun 2006
SIZE: 40.3 MB
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284: Spawn

"Seriously though, nobody tell Satan."

DATE: Thu, 08 Jun 2006
SIZE: 34.5 MB
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283: Committed

"You were probably drawing with your vagina blood."

DATE: Wed, 07 Jun 2006
SIZE: 6.83 MB
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282: Animal Farm

"NOOO! NO, I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF STRESS!"

DATE: Tue, 06 Jun 2006
SIZE: 39.8 MB
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281: What'd I do Now?

"Everyone's starting to be a little weird."

DATE: Sat, 03 Jun 2006
SIZE: 63.6 MB
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280: New York State of Mind

"He's wasting 15-year-old piss in a jar?"

DATE: Fri, 02 Jun 2006
SIZE: 58.2 MB
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279: How to Conduct an Interview

"Seriously though, fuckin' reading books... If I can edit my book without reading it somehow, I would do it."

DATE: Wed, 31 May 2006
SIZE: 39.3 MB
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278: Handicap or Super Power?

"We see everything scumbags do!"

DATE: Tue, 30 May 2006
SIZE: 41.9 MB
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277: Lesson Learned

"It's a thing chicks do. They don't know where they're at."

DATE: Sat, 27 May 2006
SIZE: 47.5 MB
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276: Corsages and Coconuts

"It reminded me of the Exorcist, but dirtier"

DATE: Fri, 26 May 2006
SIZE: 42.9 MB
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275: Dear Police

"We are, honestly, I believe, the only radio station that would entertain a conversation like that."

DATE: Thu, 25 May 2006
SIZE: 36.6 MB
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274: Age Appropriate

"The innocence of a child..."

DATE: Wed, 24 May 2006
SIZE: 48.6 MB
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273: I Said it's a Date!

"DO THAT! DO THAT! DO ME THE FAVOR AND SAY THAT AGAIN!"

DATE: Tue, 23 May 2006
SIZE: 37.6 MB
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272: Great Attitude

"I understand what is appropriate and what isn't."

DATE: Sat, 20 May 2006
SIZE: 40.9 MB
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271: Family Matters

"When you pee, now of course it stings, it hurts a little bit, maybe it lasts five minutes."

DATE: Fri, 19 May 2006
SIZE: 59.0 MB
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270: Bit by Bit

"Why you quizzin' me? I don't know."

DATE: Thu, 18 May 2006
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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269: Special Victims Unit

"If you have an Asian loved one; Chinese, Japanese, or those other ones..."

DATE: Wed, 17 May 2006
SIZE: 38.4 MB
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268: Trust No One

"You got good ears for hate."

DATE: Tue, 16 May 2006
SIZE: 62.2 MB
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267: Culture

"I guess you consider that comedy."

DATE: Mon, 15 May 2006
SIZE: 44.5 MB
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266: Drunk and High

"As soon as you left, I was thinkin' of all the possibilities."

DATE: Sat, 06 May 2006
SIZE: 27.0 MB
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265: American Camaraderie

"How do we like France today?"

DATE: Fri, 05 May 2006
SIZE: 24.9 MB
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264: MythSupporters

"I got out how to help child molesters. My work is done."

DATE: Wed, 03 May 2006
SIZE: 38.9 MB
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263: Cheaters

"Whoever is the best fucker gets to make the most money."

DATE: Fri, 28 Apr 2006
SIZE: 44.6 MB
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262: Magic and Manipulation

"I like any story that starts with 'ass' and ends with 'fists'."

DATE: Thu, 27 Apr 2006
SIZE: 43.6 MB
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261: Airplane Jokes

"You just read that it said not to do that!"

DATE: Wed, 26 Apr 2006
SIZE: 8.32 MB
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KATG Fan Shows

"I think I've explored the limits of my sexuality."

DATE: Tue, 18 Apr 2006
SIZE: 20.9 MB
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260: The Big Time

"I'm gonna be in the movies."

DATE: Tue, 18 Apr 2006
SIZE: 46.7 MB
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259: Dirty Little Secret

"You're right, I'm sorry, and help me."

DATE: Fri, 14 Apr 2006
SIZE: 46.4 MB
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258: Attitude Adjustment

"'Why your hands orange?' ''Cause I'm happy.'"

DATE: Thu, 13 Apr 2006
SIZE: 51.5 MB
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257: Driving Me Crazy

"How do you sleep tonight, Ticket Giver? Huh? Is that what your family thought you'd be doing, Ticket Giver?"

DATE: Tue, 11 Apr 2006
SIZE: 41.8 MB
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256: Service with a Smile

"I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not good at juggling balls. Chainsaws? Very good."

DATE: Sat, 08 Apr 2006
SIZE: 97.6 MB
DOWNLOAD EPISODE
255: Defecation of Character

"You know what bothers me about gays? They ruined the word 'faggot'."

DATE: Thu, 06 Apr 2006
SIZE: 44.2 MB
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254: Fast and Furious

"They're all gonna choke you when you get there."

DATE: Thu, 06 Apr 2006
SIZE: 58.9 MB
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253: Chuuch

"The only thing I like better than doin' a crossword is just stompin' on some faggot's balls."

DATE: Wed, 05 Apr 2006
SIZE: 47.3 MB
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252: Fight! Fight!

"Call me a cunt. Put it in my ass. I'm a slut."

DATE: Tue, 04 Apr 2006
SIZE: 41.7 MB
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251: Mad with Power

"Whether I misunderstood you or not, we're gonna send you a warning."

DATE: Sat, 01 Apr 2006
SIZE: 61.8 MB
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250: Glitter Tits

"I'm your guest. Treat me nice."

DATE: Thu, 30 Mar 2006
SIZE: 55.2 MB
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249: Talk of the Town

"I was peeing blood. And not just reddish-color. I mean actual blood."

DATE: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
SIZE: 41.1 MB
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248: Little Black Lies

"I'm ready to close that right on your bug eyes."

DATE: Tue, 28 Mar 2006
SIZE: 39.9 MB
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247: The PodShow Contract

"Give it over to the daddy. Daddy will know what to do better than you."

DATE: Sat, 25 Mar 2006
SIZE: 53.8 MB
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246: Old School

"Suck your own monster cock since it's so gigantic."

DATE: Thu, 23 Mar 2006
SIZE: 54.7 MB
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245: Punch Him in the Face

"So then you lied to us, didn't you, you little cunt bitch?"

DATE: Wed, 22 Mar 2006
SIZE: 41.4 MB
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244: School of Comedy

"She has to remind me that I need clothes."

DATE: Wed, 22 Mar 2006
SIZE: 40.1 MB
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243: Call Bullshit

"And I'm totally opposed to this 'cause it's so wrong..."

DATE: Tue, 21 Mar 2006
SIZE: 45.8 MB
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242: Spoiler

"If his mother catches him, we're goin' to jail."

DATE: Sat, 18 Mar 2006
SIZE: 51.7 MB
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241: Too Much Information

"I gave Balls a couple naked pictures of Hari."

DATE: Thu, 16 Mar 2006
SIZE: 42.9 MB
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240: ATTN Asian Bankers: Disregard

"Keith, your cock was cheated."

DATE: Thu, 16 Mar 2006
SIZE: 43.6 MB
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239: What's the Deal With

"The day after that I bought a butt plug."

DATE: Tue, 14 Mar 2006
SIZE: 40.6 MB
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238: Missing the Joke

"Don't make me laugh at this."

DATE: Mon, 13 Mar 2006
SIZE: 39.2 MB
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237: Kid Touchin'

"They're ruinin' my good name."

DATE: Sat, 11 Mar 2006
SIZE: 42.3 MB
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236: Baby's First Webcam

"Today is a very special night. It's a magical night."

DATE: Thu, 09 Mar 2006
SIZE: 50.4 MB
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235: Rhythm Nation

"You shouldn't put that much technology in your vagina."

DATE: Thu, 09 Mar 2006
SIZE: 40.4 MB
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234: Abort! Abort!

"You can open it up and you got a dick in your face, absolutely."

DATE: Wed, 08 Mar 2006
SIZE: 45.7 MB
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233: One Year Down

"I'm not Muslim, but I'm on their side."

DATE: Sat, 04 Mar 2006
SIZE: 46.7 MB
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232: A River in Egypt

"Big gay balls to you."

DATE: Thu, 02 Mar 2006
SIZE: 44.3 MB
DOWNLOAD EPISODE
231: Patrice is Drunk

"This tastes like I got a cut on my knee."

DATE: Wed, 01 Mar 2006
SIZE: 38.3 MB
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230: Gays are People Now

"The ignorance astounds me."

DATE: Tue, 28 Feb 2006
SIZE: 39.3 MB
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229: BitchFace

"I'll make them be gay. I'm just tryin' to pee."

DATE: Tue, 28 Feb 2006
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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228: Crime and Punishment

"If we can redo the laws: Kill him."

DATE: Sat, 25 Feb 2006
SIZE: 50.7 MB
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227: For the Love of Money

"They all know their place."

DATE: Fri, 24 Feb 2006
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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226: Keep it to Yourself

"I can't believe I get that look from you."

DATE: Wed, 22 Feb 2006
SIZE: 40.3 MB
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225: Let's Make a Deal

"Sandra, it is Suck a Dick Wednesday. I'ma see ya tonight. What are we gonna do?"

DATE: Mon, 20 Feb 2006
SIZE: 44.2 MB
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224: About Your Girl

"Don't fuckin' embarrass me like that."

DATE: Sat, 18 Feb 2006
SIZE: 46.5 MB
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223: Pick a Side

"You guys don't have viruses because nobody fuckin' cares about you."

DATE: Fri, 17 Feb 2006
SIZE: 45.4 MB
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222: Coupling

"Jesus is my sober. Fuck you!"

DATE: Thu, 16 Feb 2006
SIZE: 40.1 MB
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221: 3-Beer Queer

"You know what I'm doing. Is this funny? This is - this is funny. You know what I'm doin'! You know I'm doin' everythin' right!"

DATE: Wed, 15 Feb 2006
SIZE: 39.5 MB
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220: Not for You

"Get away from the door, niggaaa."

DATE: Mon, 13 Feb 2006
SIZE: 41.0 MB
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219: Apple Butter

"I can't try harder 'cause there's something in my crotch."

DATE: Sat, 11 Feb 2006
SIZE: 43.6 MB
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218: Cool

"I was about to say, 'DEUCE DEUCE', but are we saying that anymore?"

DATE: Thu, 09 Feb 2006
SIZE: 48.1 MB
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217: Don't Sleep

"I'm fancy as fuck."

DATE: Thu, 09 Feb 2006
SIZE: 41.9 MB
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216: After the Screening

"The Fag Community got us again."

DATE: Tue, 07 Feb 2006
SIZE: 42.9 MB
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215: Letters to the Editors

"Thank you for your quality letter, Sick Fuck."

DATE: Fri, 03 Feb 2006
SIZE: 43.5 MB
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214: Women for President

"I'll tell you what: Somebody will owe somebody an apology tomorrow."

DATE: Thu, 02 Feb 2006
SIZE: 41.7 MB
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213: Friends?

"Does your girlfriend ever do that, guys?"

DATE: Mon, 30 Jan 2006
SIZE: 39.8 MB
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212: Mating Rituals

"You know you're just my friend. Right?"

DATE: Sat, 28 Jan 2006
SIZE: 79.8 MB
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211: Happy Slapping

"This whole world doesn't make sense! I gave Keith beer!"

DATE: Thu, 26 Jan 2006
SIZE: 49.1 MB
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210: Gangsta Do's and Don't's

"I can calm down, and I can get my crazy in order."

DATE: Wed, 25 Jan 2006
SIZE: 45.8 MB
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209: Deconstructing Spooky

"Save it for the show."

DATE: Tue, 24 Jan 2006
SIZE: 46.5 MB
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208: Constructive Criticism

"Why am I even thinkin' about this? Fuck you!"

DATE: Sat, 21 Jan 2006
SIZE: 88.1 MB
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207: Titties for God

"And the dick looks surprisingly like your dick."

DATE: Fri, 20 Jan 2006
SIZE: 40.6 MB
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206: Criminal Minds

"The first killing is always awkward."

DATE: Thu, 19 Jan 2006
SIZE: 44.2 MB
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205: Stereotyping

"I need the sick stuff."

DATE: Tue, 17 Jan 2006
SIZE: 43.3 MB
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204: Boycott AOL

"This is what your kids are watching, by the way."

DATE: Sat, 14 Jan 2006
SIZE: 69.2 MB
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203: City Mouse Country Mouse

"It's not my fault, but it definitely wasn't right."

DATE: Thu, 12 Jan 2006
SIZE: 40.8 MB
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202: Caveat Emptor

"Fattest Nation in the World say, 'What?'"

DATE: Wed, 11 Jan 2006
SIZE: 41.9 MB
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201: Couples Therapy

"Who you callin' boyfriend? We're not fuckin'."

DATE: Wed, 11 Jan 2006
SIZE: 40.2 MB
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200: Cock Mouth

"Cock blood does taste the worst."

DATE: Tue, 10 Jan 2006
SIZE: 43.2 MB
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199: Kicking and Screaming

"Oh, we got another cripple! I'll take it..."

DATE: Sat, 07 Jan 2006
SIZE: 37.6 MB
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198: WKTG

"I devote entire days to blowing you. Wednesday. Heard of it much?"

DATE: Fri, 06 Jan 2006
SIZE: 38.7 MB
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197: Mission Accomplished

"Good mornin', everybody. We're drinkin' at Malley's Neighborhood Pub."

DATE: Thu, 05 Jan 2006
SIZE: 37.4 MB
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196: Revenge

"Please stop saying stuff like this! Please! Do you see the record button is on?"

DATE: Wed, 04 Jan 2006
SIZE: 40.4 MB
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195: Tattletales

"I seriously think I might shit my pants this episode."

DATE: Thu, 29 Dec 2005
SIZE: 44.0 MB
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194: The Desires of Desire

"Deuce is out; Spooky's in."

DATE: Wed, 28 Dec 2005
SIZE: 50.8 MB
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193: Spooky Visits

"All of a sudden the ATF makes sense."

DATE: Fri, 23 Dec 2005
SIZE: 29.8 MB
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192: Cinnamon Bread

"Do you know what dead mouse smells like?"

DATE: Thu, 22 Dec 2005
SIZE: 39.8 MB
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191: So Sue Me

"You fuckin' bitch. Don't even mention that. Don't even say that."

DATE: Wed, 21 Dec 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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190: Sexual Content

"Stick somethin' in your asshole. Who's gonna know?"

DATE: Mon, 19 Dec 2005
SIZE: 39.4 MB
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189: Three's Company

"So, 1 to 10: How gay are you?"

DATE: Sun, 18 Dec 2005
SIZE: 48.6 MB
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188: Encore

"Oh my God. I didn't know you people really looked like that."

DATE: Thu, 15 Dec 2005
SIZE: 35.9 MB
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187: Keith and Patrice

"We gave bandanas to all the Indians when we gave them AIDS."

DATE: Mon, 12 Dec 2005
SIZE: 56.9 MB
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186: Love Letters

"I'm Douchebag Wiggle."

DATE: Thu, 08 Dec 2005
SIZE: 38.9 MB
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185: I Have a Bomb

"What the fuck show you listenin' to?"

DATE: Wed, 07 Dec 2005
SIZE: 49.9 MB
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184: How to Build a Resume

"If somebody can do it, chances are I can do it."

DATE: Fri, 02 Dec 2005
SIZE: 53.1 MB
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183: Business Solutions

"Nobody knows you better than you."

DATE: Thu, 01 Dec 2005
SIZE: 44.3 MB
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182: Friendly Skies

"When did we become homeless?"

DATE: Tue, 29 Nov 2005
SIZE: 42.0 MB
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181: Finish Her!

"I can't even explain it. You'll see. You'll see..."

DATE: Tue, 29 Nov 2005
SIZE: 45.8 MB
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180: Idiot Box

"Good to talk to you before we all die."

DATE: Sat, 26 Nov 2005
SIZE: 44.5 MB
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179: Fuck the Family Friday

"Crazy. White. People."

DATE: Thu, 24 Nov 2005
SIZE: 40.2 MB
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178: Find Keith a Job

"All of this. Everything I see in this building is my skill."

DATE: Wed, 23 Nov 2005
SIZE: 41.2 MB
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177: It's Not Me, It's You

"If you're Batman or you're trying to get blowjobs, you can wear those shirts."

DATE: Mon, 21 Nov 2005
SIZE: 42.9 MB
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176: Apology Accepted

"Apologies don't last forever, Honey. You got your fuckin' apology."

DATE: Thu, 17 Nov 2005
SIZE: 52.1 MB
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175: How to Kill Your Baby

"Don't make babies with scalawags."

DATE: Thu, 17 Nov 2005
SIZE: 39.9 MB
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174: Smell the Roses

"That's the thing with lesbians; they got so much goin' for 'em, but they don't fuck dudes."

DATE: Wed, 16 Nov 2005
SIZE: 39.2 MB
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173: Free Booze

"Well the robot didn't show up. We're not at Stage 3 of HUAR yet."

DATE: Mon, 14 Nov 2005
SIZE: 42.7 MB
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172: The Michael Carrino Interview

"Hey all you assholes, come and listen to us. It's the Keith and The Girl show."

DATE: Sat, 12 Nov 2005
SIZE: 50.9 MB
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171: Rockstar

âIn come the real-titted, girls, you know? Itâs like we got the lunch bitches.â

DATE: Thu, 10 Nov 2005
SIZE: 52.9 MB
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170: In The Barrio

"It only takes one misunderstanding."

DATE: Wed, 09 Nov 2005
SIZE: 53.0 MB
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169: Nice to Know Ya, California

"I'm lookin' for two stick figures. One of 'em's always drinkin' I guess."

DATE: Tue, 08 Nov 2005
SIZE: 54.2 MB
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168: Venus and My Cock

"You know you really have to work hard, and you have to give 'em UH! UH! UH!"

DATE: Sat, 05 Nov 2005
SIZE: 36.5 MB
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167: Movin' On Up

"No-no, I think you can be a normal person. No-no, let's keep tryin'."

DATE: Thu, 03 Nov 2005
SIZE: 40.6 MB
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166: Greg Giraldo

"You were just saying 'what an asshole' so Stephanie can pee in her pants."

DATE: Thu, 03 Nov 2005
SIZE: 41.5 MB
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165: The Girl, M.D.

"That wasn't the bet! The bet was: Can I drink on antibiotics? And I won!"

DATE: Tue, 01 Nov 2005
SIZE: 41.5 MB
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164: Lo Ya-fe

"So what's your problem with me, Chief?"

DATE: Sat, 29 Oct 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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163: $$$

"I don't understand why it doesn't smell like shit and piss. '311?'"

DATE: Thu, 27 Oct 2005
SIZE: 38.3 MB
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162: Keith on Vicodin

"If I were a doctor, I might go in and scalpel some bullshit."

DATE: Wed, 26 Oct 2005
SIZE: 38.0 MB
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161: Where is Thumbkin?

"Why don't you just take out your balls? 'Where is Bally?' 'Here I am.'"

DATE: Sat, 22 Oct 2005
SIZE: 39.6 MB
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160: Adam Visits

"I quickly get rid of it 'cause I feel like the government's on the other end."

DATE: Thu, 20 Oct 2005
SIZE: 42.4 MB
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159: Suck My Halloweenie

"I couldn't think of a phrase or something that would be on Wheel of Fortune that doesn't have a curse word in it."

DATE: Thu, 20 Oct 2005
SIZE: 41.2 MB
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158: Friendly Ribbing

"Easy, Dane Cook. You're still pretty."

DATE: Wed, 19 Oct 2005
SIZE: 41.3 MB
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157: Jani Lane

"Good for you you got fat."

DATE: Tue, 18 Oct 2005
SIZE: 47.6 MB
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156: Relationship Lesson #47

"You're tryin' to say 'I love you' in a nice fuckin' way!"

DATE: Fri, 14 Oct 2005
SIZE: 37.4 MB
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155: Who Knows What

"The human body will shake, so you're gonna need a tripod."

DATE: Fri, 14 Oct 2005
SIZE: 39.8 MB
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154: Days Gone By

"How many times do I have to lie to you? Once!"

DATE: Wed, 12 Oct 2005
SIZE: 41.5 MB
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153: Fuck Dane Cook

"If the husband doesn't get home in time, there's gonna be a quickie."

DATE: Tue, 11 Oct 2005
SIZE: 42.2 MB
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152: Your Child's a Pussy

"I know those little sensitive kids can't kick my ass. That is the difference."

DATE: Fri, 07 Oct 2005
SIZE: 28.5 MB
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151: Dental DAMN!

"My vagina hurts as you're saying this."

DATE: Fri, 07 Oct 2005
SIZE: 44.3 MB
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150: Gay Nigga

"And really, me saying nigger is wrong; 'cause when I think it, I mean it. I don't mean it with a 'a', I mean it with a 'e-r'."

DATE: Wed, 05 Oct 2005
SIZE: 41.3 MB
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149: Want Some Candy?

"How'd ya know? I was on cocaine. I forgot to mention that."

DATE: Wed, 05 Oct 2005
SIZE: 42.8 MB
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148: Say You're Sorry

"She loves to slice wrists. You would think she's perfect."

DATE: Mon, 03 Oct 2005
SIZE: 36.2 MB
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147: Learning Curve

"Crawling under barbed wire through mud: Looks cool; not really fun."

DATE: Fri, 30 Sep 2005
SIZE: 40.4 MB
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146: Phone Jerk

"You are listening right now! You have herpes! I know it!"

DATE: Thu, 29 Sep 2005
SIZE: 41.5 MB
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145: Doug Stanhope

"I can't make up my mind about Dane Cook. So my question is: 'Doug Stanhope; do we like Dane Cook?'"

DATE: Thu, 29 Sep 2005
SIZE: 43.5 MB
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144: Keith and The Girl's Dad

"So that's 40 percent of the people thought I was an asshole."

DATE: Wed, 28 Sep 2005
SIZE: 39.2 MB
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143: The Porn Shop

"You can run back with your dick in your hand and press 'ALL IN'."

DATE: Fri, 23 Sep 2005
SIZE: 39.8 MB
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142: Poker and DICE!

"Thank you for making me understand the definition of beauty."

DATE: Thu, 22 Sep 2005
SIZE: 43.0 MB
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141: Old Farts, New Smells

"I bet you still gotta use bigger and bigger vibrators until finally you need a jackhammer."

DATE: Wed, 21 Sep 2005
SIZE: 43.1 MB
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140: Satan Sucks

"I just decided it was bullshit and washed it out of my brain."

DATE: Mon, 19 Sep 2005
SIZE: 38.8 MB
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139: Who's Sicker?

"1 in 4 Africans has AIDS. And there's 5 of them in the tent."

DATE: Sat, 17 Sep 2005
SIZE: 24.9 MB
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138: WAAAH!

"Why aren't you drinkin'?"

DATE: Thu, 15 Sep 2005
SIZE: 38.6 MB
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137: Keith, Interrupted

"We're broken up. Unless you guys write enough so that we should care."

DATE: Wed, 14 Sep 2005
SIZE: 40.8 MB
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136: Liam McEneaney

"This is the biggest fuckin' thing, these iPods."

DATE: Tue, 13 Sep 2005
SIZE: 42.4 MB
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135: Behind the Scenes

"If we can't kill people for being weirdos, then we have to help them!"

DATE: Mon, 12 Sep 2005
SIZE: 44.3 MB
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134: The Girl on PMS

"Hunt 'em fast; kill 'em slow."

DATE: Fri, 09 Sep 2005
SIZE: 37.0 MB
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133: Get Mad. Get Even.

"Our fans may be good-looking; they're not the best storytellers."

DATE: Thu, 08 Sep 2005
SIZE: 44.2 MB
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132: Tax Deductible

"I look at Abraham Lincoln in a picture or somethin', first thing I think of is that heÃ??s black."

DATE: Thu, 08 Sep 2005
SIZE: 39.4 MB
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131: Jerk This

"This Friday, for the poker game, we're letting in gay people."

DATE: Wed, 07 Sep 2005
SIZE: 40.7 MB
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130: Farts and Branks

"I'd like a fuckin' wraparound couch, dickhead."

DATE: Mon, 05 Sep 2005
SIZE: 43.0 MB
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129: Poconos

"The big entertainment of the whole thing: Comedy Hypnosis Show."

DATE: Fri, 02 Sep 2005
SIZE: 40.2 MB
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128: Stop the Insanity!

"Hey you're on Keith and The Girl. How much do you weigh?"

DATE: Fri, 02 Sep 2005
SIZE: 40.9 MB
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127: Baby Sleepy Boo Boo

"If you pay your taxes and be-the-fuck-have, you may stay."

DATE: Wed, 31 Aug 2005
SIZE: 42.4 MB
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126: Sins of the World

"You're pulling on it! I'm not wearing some kinda new sexy pants, but I gotta keep pulling on my dick!"

DATE: Tue, 30 Aug 2005
SIZE: 39.4 MB
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125: What do Blacks Want?

"That's offensive to balls!"

DATE: Mon, 29 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.0 MB
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124: Musically Declined

"I always walk behind you and go, 'That was a joke. And he's just funny.'"

DATE: Fri, 26 Aug 2005
SIZE: 38.9 MB
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123: The Early Show

"Who gets up this early? Honestly."

DATE: Thu, 25 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.3 MB
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122: Apologies All Around

"Dice is an Angel of God."

DATE: Thu, 25 Aug 2005
SIZE: 43.3 MB
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121: Not for Sale

"Abracadabra; all that shit."

DATE: Tue, 23 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.8 MB
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120: Fire-Breathing Assholes

"That is not our policy to call you a bitch dog."

DATE: Mon, 22 Aug 2005
SIZE: 43.2 MB
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119: Click Here, Kane!

"If it's more than five dollars, it's pretentious."

DATE: Sat, 20 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.5 MB
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118: Public Enemy #1

"How do we get gotten on such a dumb fuckin' thing?"

DATE: Fri, 19 Aug 2005
SIZE: 48.6 MB
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117: Walken 2008

"Go 'head, Keith. Get your balls back."

DATE: Wed, 17 Aug 2005
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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116: Duck, Duck, Uh-Oh!

"Why would they want, Andrea? That is correct. Why would they want? How could that help us in any way? It can't! It can't help us in any way!"

DATE: Wed, 17 Aug 2005
SIZE: 44.0 MB
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115: Parental Advisory

"Remember when you snooped through their shit? Well, they're snoopin' through your shit! Hide the sex toys!"

DATE: Mon, 15 Aug 2005
SIZE: 38.9 MB
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114: State of the Show Address

"If you're gonna lose your house to some game: FullTiltPoker.com."

DATE: Thu, 11 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.8 MB
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112: Animals

"I have simulated herpes."

DATE: Wed, 10 Aug 2005
SIZE: 36.1 MB
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111: Baby's First Blow Job

"Old enough that I should've said, 'Stop pulling my dick.'"

DATE: Tue, 09 Aug 2005
SIZE: 34.1 MB
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110: Technical Difficulties

"I wish we could say more. I can't wait until the day when we go, 'You know what? We don't need friends.' That is gonna be a good show."

DATE: Sat, 06 Aug 2005
SIZE: 40.9 MB
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109: In Our Defense

"Oh that's so funny that you mentioned it cause it's the first time that I brought beer and that's when we mentioned it."

DATE: Thu, 04 Aug 2005
SIZE: 45.2 MB
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108: Find Patrice a Job

"When I do post, I type it in Notepad first so I don't click 'send' by accident and get my ass handed to me."

DATE: Thu, 04 Aug 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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107: Suck a Dick Wednesday

"So what about me? Lick a Twat Tuesday."

DATE: Tue, 02 Aug 2005
SIZE: 44.9 MB
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106: Dan Klass is an Addict

"God sounds like Fat Jani Lane."

DATE: Mon, 01 Aug 2005
SIZE: 37.6 MB
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105: Hatin'

"Speaking of drugs, this is part of Clown Monday..."

DATE: Fri, 29 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.2 MB
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104: Cock and Balls

"Mark, you have the biggest balls..."

DATE: Thu, 28 Jul 2005
SIZE: 48.8 MB
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103: Great Adventure

"Can't one person shake me, the other person yell BOO!, and then take a hundred dollars? Then I have the rest of my day free."

DATE: Wed, 27 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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102: The Aftermath

"I will probably not listen to your show again - DAMMIT! - based on your ignorance and insensitivity regarding BLANK."

DATE: Mon, 25 Jul 2005
SIZE: 43.4 MB
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101: The Past will Haunt You

"I'm being sabotaged at home."

DATE: Fri, 22 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.9 MB
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100: KATG LIVE!

DATE: Thu, 21 Jul 2005
SIZE: 42.6 MB
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99: Babies on Acid

"Just real fast: cockandballs. It's fun."

DATE: Thu, 21 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.1 MB
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98: What a Beach

"Every word you said in English was a polite word. It's like Hebrew didn't have nice words."

DATE: Tue, 19 Jul 2005
SIZE: 42.1 MB
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97: Rude Behavior

"And I'm just disappointed, like I didn't get to show my sister a freak, you know?"

DATE: Tue, 19 Jul 2005
SIZE: 38.5 MB
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96: Ray Visits

"I'm no longer watching. You're gonna have to tell me what's happening."

DATE: Sun, 17 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.1 MB
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95: The Mature

"...and Ron Weasley fucks the chick in the ass."

DATE: Thu, 14 Jul 2005
SIZE: 41.6 MB
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94: Back in the Day

"Way to take a stand on something, French."

DATE: Wed, 13 Jul 2005
SIZE: 36.4 MB
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93: War and Peace

"Was she like: 'Whoa, it just came to me. That's fuckin' gross. I will not do it again. I just realized what I was doing.'"

DATE: Tue, 12 Jul 2005
SIZE: 38.4 MB
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92: Old Enough to Know Better

"I'm all for making people cry."

DATE: Tue, 12 Jul 2005
SIZE: 20.7 MB
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91: The Keith and The Keith Show

"Womenfolk are gone, bitches. 2. 3. 4."

DATE: Sat, 09 Jul 2005
SIZE: 38.6 MB
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90: Small Town Minds

"Congratulations to Amy Miller, you fuckin' hog."

DATE: Thu, 07 Jul 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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89: Fighting Dwarves

"Yes, absolutely. I would punch a woman."

DATE: Thu, 07 Jul 2005
SIZE: 40.3 MB
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88: Stick to Your Own

"If all I did was swim, and I didn't have to do anything else, I think I could win a gold."

DATE: Tue, 05 Jul 2005
SIZE: 39.9 MB
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87: Fuckstration

"'Do you know how to make a flower?' They saw me making flowers all day. 'No.' 'Yes you do!' 'Then why are you asking?'"

DATE: Sat, 02 Jul 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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86: Let's Go to the Phones

"Sometimes I'll find something on the ground, and I'm not sure what it is, so I'll put it in my mouth to figure it out. Sometimes it's not food, but it usually is food."

DATE: Thu, 30 Jun 2005
SIZE: 44.9 MB
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85: I Have a Black Friend

"God bless white people!"

DATE: Thu, 30 Jun 2005
SIZE: 44.4 MB
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84: Drinking on the Job

"When you are at work drunk IMing your mom: 'I'm just jerkin' off. What are you doin'?'"

DATE: Wed, 29 Jun 2005
SIZE: 39.7 MB
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83: USA All The Way

"I went to my wife's job... I cursed out all the managers..."

DATE: Mon, 27 Jun 2005
SIZE: 38.4 MB
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82: America We Stand As One

"Dennis wants to see no harm done to kids? It's Clown Monday."

DATE: Sat, 25 Jun 2005
SIZE: 34.5 MB
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81: Earning Daddy's Approval

"You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do."

DATE: Fri, 24 Jun 2005
SIZE: 36.3 MB
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80: Gaylordy Lordy

"Well, we were talking about being humped as children..."

DATE: Thu, 23 Jun 2005
SIZE: 35.0 MB
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79: When News Hits Home

"Fuck you you fuckin' fuck."

DATE: Wed, 22 Jun 2005
SIZE: 36.5 MB
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78: Grooming: Not Just for Queers

"And I'm not some weirdo wiping my dickhead with my hand."

DATE: Tue, 21 Jun 2005
SIZE: 37.8 MB
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77: Bum Jobs

"I'm gonna put this Rest In Peace on blast, son."

DATE: Fri, 17 Jun 2005
SIZE: 34.4 MB
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76: How to F***

"And granted I'm not a little boy, you know? 18. And some cultures consider that being a man."

DATE: Fri, 17 Jun 2005
SIZE: 35.9 MB
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75: Bad Day, Worse Day

"This guy just wouldnât fuckinâ come! You know what? Shit like this makes me wanna go back to the dungeon!"

DATE: Wed, 15 Jun 2005
SIZE: 32.3 MB
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74: The Greatest Generation

"At first, naturally, I just wanna look at her tits. But then, it's like, mmmmm, I'm allowed to read somethin'."

DATE: Tue, 14 Jun 2005
SIZE: 31.7 MB
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73: Pop Experts

"Now say that I'm smart. I'll blow you; you say I'm smart."

DATE: Tue, 14 Jun 2005
SIZE: 37.9 MB
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72: Jackson Free, Ricans Jailed

"No big deal. No big whoop. I just made, a big 'ol poop."

DATE: Fri, 10 Jun 2005
SIZE: 32.1 MB
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71: Danny Yale's Mom is a Bad Parent

"But if you're 10-years-old this is a way to get felt up by an adult."

DATE: Fri, 10 Jun 2005
SIZE: 33.0 MB
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70: Down With Scientology

"I can't keep it to myself: Jimmy Fallen sucks."

DATE: Thu, 09 Jun 2005
SIZE: 32.2 MB
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69: The Girl on Vicodin

"I lost my train of thought. Who cares? Another Vicodin?"

DATE: Tue, 07 Jun 2005
SIZE: 35.2 MB
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68: Reading is for Faggots

"They had the American flag in their poster and everything, you assholes! The flying eagle... I trust that eagle, sir!"

DATE: Mon, 06 Jun 2005
SIZE: 32.5 MB
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67: Stupid Money

"I should have washed her vag."

DATE: Sat, 04 Jun 2005
SIZE: 33.8 MB
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66: Pain is Good

"Three ways to tell fatties they're grotesque without getting them upset."

DATE: Thu, 02 Jun 2005
SIZE: 34.7 MB
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65: What's in a Name

"She fuckin' is a designer cause she graduated from NYU or whatever the hell... Please. Learn to suck a cock. Did you live in a dorm?"

DATE: Wed, 01 Jun 2005
SIZE: 25.3 MB
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Calling It In

"It must be awesome to be black in this country."

DATE: Tue, 31 May 2005
SIZE: 30.8 MB
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62: Memorial Day with the French

"The fat guy trips, and I'm like, 'I think he's dead. Dig in.'"

DATE: Fri, 27 May 2005
SIZE: 34.9 MB
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61: Your Girlfriend's Movers

"Yeah, that's somethin' you should say. Or: jump out the fuckin' window. And I opted for the window. And: that was smarter; cause then I'm in the emergency room and I don't gotta deal with this."

DATE: Thu, 26 May 2005
SIZE: 35.5 MB
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60: Is Patrice Black?

"Shut the fuck up, and fuck a woman!"

DATE: Thu, 26 May 2005
SIZE: 32.0 MB
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59: Fuck a Title Wednesday

"It's not like you finish and your nipples are bleeding; you're like that was some good sex. You ran for that!"

DATE: Tue, 24 May 2005
SIZE: 31.2 MB
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58: Faking the Funk

"Do you have the sex sheet? I can't find it. I would hate to ruin another good sheet."

DATE: Mon, 23 May 2005
SIZE: 31.8 MB
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57: Mommy & Me, DAMMIT!

"Did you put the chair down on her foot? Alright, quit ruinin' my story."

DATE: Fri, 20 May 2005
SIZE: 37.3 MB
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56: voodoolulu

"That's not weird. Continue. Continue, please. She makes everything a big deal."

DATE: Thu, 19 May 2005
SIZE: 36.1 MB
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55: Keith Tries to Care

"Just shoot me in the face. What shoes does she wear? Ohhhh..."

DATE: Thu, 19 May 2005
SIZE: 32.9 MB
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54: Free Porn

"I turned him upside down, and Elmo stuffed him in a garbage."

DATE: Wed, 18 May 2005
SIZE: 38.4 MB
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53: Whore College

"She's gonna root for the parapelegics of the world, and I'm goin' for the human beings."

DATE: Tue, 17 May 2005
SIZE: 42.6 MB
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52: Working From Home

"Black women are the worst. And I've had 'em all!"

DATE: Fri, 13 May 2005
SIZE: 39.4 MB
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51: When Clowns Cry

"This is a momentum of why you hate your mom."

DATE: Fri, 13 May 2005
SIZE: 35.7 MB
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50: Podcast Outlaw

"Well quit lookin' in temples fuckin' Satan."

DATE: Thu, 12 May 2005
SIZE: 27.9 MB
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49: DJ Quad

"When did you become retarded?"

DATE: Tue, 10 May 2005
SIZE: 31.1 MB
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48: Lying, Dying

"Stop yawning into the mike, please. Jesus Christ! A little subtlety, thank you."

DATE: Tue, 10 May 2005
SIZE: 34.3 MB
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Fuck Paris Hilton

"I'm just upset that I wasn't invited."

DATE: Sun, 08 May 2005
SIZE: 2.03 MB
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Mother

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!

DATE: Sat, 07 May 2005
SIZE: 37.3 MB
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46: Shit Doesn't Freeze

"I think in eating out the stripper: you both lost."

DATE: Fri, 06 May 2005
SIZE: 32.7 MB
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Sex Shortyentation

"Girls don't know that. That happens sometimes."

DATE: Thu, 05 May 2005
SIZE: 34.0 MB
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44: We Tried... Whatever...

NO QUOTE TODAY. WHO CARES?

DATE: Wed, 04 May 2005
SIZE: 37.4 MB
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43: Ghetto Clue

"'Oh he thinks we're fuckin' playin'.' And they take the gun and they point it at my legs."

DATE: Mon, 02 May 2005
SIZE: 30.4 MB
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Keith and The Sand Nigger

"I think this is a set-up and that's your wife and you're gonna punch me in the face."

DATE: Fri, 29 Apr 2005
SIZE: 31.8 MB
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I Know You're Cheating On Me

"I like men now. I am gay."

DATE: Fri, 29 Apr 2005
SIZE: 35.9 MB
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Threats and Blessings

"Look at Patrice's face. She can't take it."

DATE: Thu, 28 Apr 2005
SIZE: 42.7 MB
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Sex and the Shitty...Get It?

"This Keith is a genius, and his speech impediment just emphasizes his wit and ageless wisdom!"

DATE: Tue, 26 Apr 2005
SIZE: 33.1 MB
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Click Here, Mom!

"Okay, now say something nice about my vagina."

DATE: Mon, 25 Apr 2005
SIZE: 33.9 MB
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School Up In Ya

"We were undercover cops like 21 Jump Street."

DATE: Sat, 23 Apr 2005
SIZE: 36.1 MB
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Keepin' It Real

"You were just quiet cause you were so mad that all that alcohol was gone."

DATE: Fri, 22 Apr 2005
SIZE: 34.6 MB
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Retard Rundown

"Cheese is on twelve when you're high."

DATE: Thu, 21 Apr 2005
SIZE: 33.6 MB
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Singers Wanted

"Are you gonna sing Amazing Grace? You're on the air right now, and we're tryin' to find the next singer."

DATE: Tue, 19 Apr 2005
SIZE: 34.3 MB
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Working Blue

"Hey, who wants to blow my boyfriend? Wooo!"

DATE: Tue, 19 Apr 2005
SIZE: 29.4 MB
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Ginny My Clothes Already

"Make it stop. I'm gonna hit my head against the wall. Just punch me."

DATE: Fri, 15 Apr 2005
SIZE: 33.2 MB
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Jingles All The Way

"I like it. No, it's awesome. It's like putting the Transformers Autobon face on your chest."

DATE: Thu, 14 Apr 2005
SIZE: 36.5 MB
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Victor Varnado

"Victor, you're a black albino. You're God's little special project. You're special."

DATE: Wed, 13 Apr 2005
SIZE: 36.1 MB
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Documentary Do's and Don't's

"You were gone! You said you were gone!"

DATE: Wed, 13 Apr 2005
SIZE: 26.3 MB
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How to Get Pregnant

"I wanna get it in there before she changes her mind."

DATE: Mon, 11 Apr 2005
SIZE: 32.0 MB
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Then Stop Acting Like Your Stereotype

"You get arrested and you're on COPS, your first call should be to an agent."

DATE: Fri, 08 Apr 2005
SIZE: 36.0 MB
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Oy to the Vey

"Thank you, Maria. And good luck to you. I know you believe in Hell."

DATE: Fri, 08 Apr 2005
SIZE: 35.7 MB
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The Relationship Hour

"Computers are made out of ones and zeros. Throw a fuckin' two in there!"

DATE: Wed, 06 Apr 2005
SIZE: 32.9 MB
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I'll Find You, John Petrie

"I had a roommate, One-Eyed Davis, that I caught stealin' money from me, and, so I pissed all over his - in all his drawers, and I poured bleach on all the clothes hangin' up. That was me, Davis! I did that!"

DATE: Tue, 05 Apr 2005
SIZE: 35.2 MB
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Pay Your Fuckin' Tab

"Dick! I was watchin' that! Why don't you just go in my house and change the fuckin' channel?"

DATE: Mon, 04 Apr 2005
SIZE: 31.3 MB
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Mitch Hedberg, Hippies and The Pope

"So he was #1 and gets The Pope dying. I think that's fair, if I get this guy: One of the greatest comics, Mitch Hedberg, is dead."

DATE: Fri, 01 Apr 2005
SIZE: 31.2 MB
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Fuck Dawn and Drew

"They don't even know why they're on! Well fuck you, you're getting off."

DATE: Thu, 31 Mar 2005
SIZE: 31.7 MB
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Scams & Horrors

"CNN just reported Terri Shiavo, 41-years old, is dead. So uhh... sorry about all those jokes. Alright, lookin' at, uh, the Amityville murders..."

DATE: Wed, 30 Mar 2005
SIZE: 32.9 MB
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Baby's First Phone Call

"He's the one that edited this and put it together. So when you're seeing this guy fuck dog-style and then he turns the phone to his fat head: He did that!"

DATE: Tue, 29 Mar 2005
SIZE: 32.1 MB
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Bartleby the Scrivener

"Granted I didn't read it, so that could be your argument to argue with me, but I know it fuckin' sucked."

DATE: Mon, 28 Mar 2005
SIZE: 54.7 MB
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Asian Torture

"If Christ is real, in about a week to a week and a half, we will be in the Top 10."

DATE: Sun, 27 Mar 2005
SIZE: 58.4 MB
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Easter Spectacular - Easter Bunny and The Gay Cruise

"Some of these are just like joke commandments - just to make sure you're listening."

DATE: Fri, 25 Mar 2005
SIZE: 27.3 MB
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Prison Bitch

"Whitney Houston is in rehab. Just sliced a bitch. Yeah, in the throat. In the shower."

DATE: Thu, 24 Mar 2005
SIZE: 27.7 MB
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CUNTinue

"Fuck it! Tonight: hookers, drugs, you, my girlfriend Betsy, eatin' pussy, suckin' dick, lickin' tits... Eatin' pussy..."

DATE: Wed, 23 Mar 2005
SIZE: 28.4 MB
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The Pat O'Brien Phone Sex Tapes

"I've decided to take action by checking myself into an intensive recovery program. Overcoming this problem is a top priority in my life now that my shit's all over the Internet."

DATE: Tue, 22 Mar 2005
SIZE: 26.7 MB
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Marriage & Hookers

"I hate that fuckin' bitch of a wife that I have, and I hope that she burns in Hell..."

DATE: Tue, 22 Mar 2005
SIZE: 32.4 MB
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A Bad Day at Work

"It's gonna take a hell of a work to get that shit outta your foot."

DATE: Fri, 18 Mar 2005
SIZE: 30.4 MB
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THE OLSON TWINS DIVORCE!

"I masturbated to all these people! Who's next?"

DATE: Thu, 17 Mar 2005
SIZE: 35.0 MB
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The Girl's Brother

"And then suddenly I wake up, and I'm on a plane to the Dominican Republic."

DATE: Wed, 16 Mar 2005
SIZE: 27.8 MB
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Clowning Around

"I believe assholes are born not raised."

DATE: Tue, 15 Mar 2005
SIZE: 28.1 MB
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Teletubbies Premiere

"Everybody's gotta act like a fuckin' adult!"

DATE: Mon, 14 Mar 2005
SIZE: 33.1 MB
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Jeff the Jerkoff

"Hi. I'm Jeff. I'm a - I'm a jerkoff. It's pleased to meet you. Please don't call me Jeffrey. That's what my mom calls me when I'm trying to podcast in her basement."

DATE: Fri, 11 Mar 2005
SIZE: 27.9 MB
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The Podwars of 2005

"Their show has really just turned into a countdown of when he chokes her."

DATE: Fri, 11 Mar 2005
SIZE: 23.9 MB
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Customer Service

"We come here all the time. So eat it."

DATE: Wed, 09 Mar 2005
SIZE: 24.9 MB
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The Breakup Show

"I don't like any trauma, and chicks are crazy."

DATE: Tue, 08 Mar 2005
SIZE: 29.2 MB
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Introduction to Racism

"I want to have sex, so I'm like, 'Can you finally pick at this? This's disgusting.'"

DATE: Tue, 08 Mar 2005
SIZE: 27.6 MB
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SHOW #1

"Does that make you cranky, or it turns you into a man?"

Recent Comments for Keith and The Girl
Great show

The episodes arent being updated anymore but you can find new ones at http://KATG.com

Submitted By: michael@... (on 9-2013)

No other podcast comes close

There isnt a chance that any other podcast can beat them

Submitted By: robm425@... (on 1-2013)


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